Laughter the Best Medicine – Weekend Special – Part Two

Tina Frisco provided Sally Cronin with a number of smiles last week. Thank you so much for permitting me to spread it on my blog. I had a good laugh!

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

The second part of the email that my lovely friend Tina sent me ….Keep laughing….

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED

Men are just happier people, right? What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Is it any wonder men are happier!

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.·If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1…

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International Spine-chilling short story competition

Feel like writing a spine chilling short story? Author Bridget Whelan has provided us with a short story competition you could participate. Good Luck!

BRIDGET WHELAN writer

The Creative Competitor – an author service organisation – have been running writing competitions for over five years. This month they want something scary in 1000 words or less (and that includes the title).

1st Prize: £500
2nd Prize: £300
3rd Prize: £200
4th Prize: £100

Closing date: 31st October 2016
Entry fee: £3.50

You can use the above photo for inspiration but The Creative Competitior say they welcome imaginative interpretations of the theme. 

So here is another picture to chill your imagination.

Rules:

You must be aged 18 or over
Open to writers worldwide
Maximum word count is 1000 including the title
Submissions must be original and previously unpublished
You may include reference to the above photo
You may enter multiple submissions providing the correct fees are paid
Submissions must be written in English

Submissions must be pasted into the body of the email (unless otherwise specified) and sent…

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What would happen to your story in a fire?

Jean M. Cogdell asks us an important question: What would happen to your story in a fire? – Read what important advice she is giving us.

Jean's Writing

Or a flood, or should someone steal your computer?

I don’t know about you but, I’d have a freaking heart attack!

We’ve all know to back up our work. I do this religiously to an external hard drive. A hard drive that is in my closet, that would burn up with my laptop and house in a fire.

Geesh! Give me a minute while I bang my head on table.

September 15, 2016, the Associated Press reported about a fire. Nothing unusual about fires, they happen every day. Unless you are the victim. As was the case for Gideon Hodge a  novelist that realized his only copies  were on a laptop inside.

Mr. Hodge rushed past firefighters into the blazing inferno to save his computer.

Man dashes into house to save laptop, 2 completed novels from fire in New Orleans’ Broadmoor neighborhood BY MATT SLEDGE

So all of this got me…

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4 Easy Ways To Streamline Your Author Brand

Carly Watters posted an interesting and simple way to streamline your author brand. Thank you very much, Carly! This is of great help!

 

Carly Watters, Literary Agent

Every writer has an author brand whether they know it or not. So how can you take control of it? Here are my four easy ways to streamline your author brand across platforms and within platforms.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR AUTHOR BRAND WITH THESE 4 STEPS:

1. Cross-platform brand consistency

Do you use the same author photo on all your platforms (i.e. Website and Instagram) so followers know they’re in the right place? Do you use the same colour scheme or header image on your platforms (i.e. Facebook and Twitter)? Use visual cues to let readers/followers/fans know they’re in the right place. This creates tone without saying anything and is an easy way to start having a consistent brand across the web.

2. Unique content per platform

If you promote the same links across Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, e-newsletter etc. then readers only have to follow you in one place to…

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#amwriting: making your fan page useful

Connie J. Jasperson of “Life in the Real of Fantasy” advices us on our FB page and how to make it useful. This is a fantastic post I’m very grateful for. There’s so much to learn!

Life in the Realm of Fantasy

In 2011, when I first began this crazy journey, I was advised to create a professional Facebook page. Whether you are an Indie or are traditionally published you will be responsible for putting your own social media into place, as in this world, no one will do it for you. You don’t get a personal assistant and a publicist when you get that first book deal, so you may as well get on with doing these things yourself.

For my blog post on how to make a professional Facebook fan page, click here: Building the Brand. Today we will talk about making it work better for you, with only a small amount of effort on your part.

While I had to sever my relationship with my first publisher, that was the first of two important, things he told me. (The second was to blog regularly—which also was good…

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Banned Books Throughout History

Anastasia of “Read & Survive” shares an infographic about banned books with us. I couldn’t resist forwarding it to my followers with a smile. Thank you, Anastasia!

Read & Survive

September 26−October 2, 2016
Banned Books Week is an annual event celebrating the freedom to read. Typically held during the last week of September, it highlights the value of free and open access to information. Banned Books Week brings together the entire book community –librarians, booksellers, publishers, journalists, teachers, and readers of all types – in shared support of the freedom to seek and to express ideas, even those some consider unorthodox or unpopular.

Moreover, one of my favorite trilogies, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman was almost banned once. The Catholic League campaigned against The Golden Compass / Northern Lights, declaring that it promoted atheism and attacked Christianity…Well, that it did I guess.

On fantasy & how it encourages difficult behavior: Reading Harry Potter books makes children MENTALLY ILL says headmaster who warns letting them become ‘addicted’ to fantasy novels is as bad as feeding them ‘heaps of…

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