You have been warned

Thanks so much for making us laugh with these pics, Bluebird of Bitterness. I had a fun time, giggling away the entire time scrolling down.

bluebird of bitterness

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The Dos and Don’ts of Self-Publishing A Book…

What a great article, written by Lorna Sixsmith. I found it on The Story Reading Ape’s blog which makes it easier for me to re-blog. It’s very informative and important to me, being a new author and still in the middle of a learning process.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

by Lorna Sixsmith  on the Write on Track site:

Self-publishing a book is hugely exciting and a great achievement.

While much of it is straightforward, it can be a scary prospect particularly if you are investing in printed copies in significant numbers.

Having just self-published my second book aimed at a farming readership, I found that I am still learning and yes, it is easy to make mistakes.

Here’s my list of things you should do and things you should either avoid or consider very carefully.

Find out more at:

The Dos and Don’ts

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Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Heavens Above and the other one!

Thank you so much for making us laugh and giggle, Sally Cronin. I had a lot of fun with these. 🙂

Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life

A few jokes about heaven and hell… with no disrespect intended.. we all have our own version of what is to come and just hope that humour and laughter is included in the package.

God and Eve, for the Girls.

“ God I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem Eve?”

“I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderful animals as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“And why is that Eve?” “God I am lonely and bored and I am sick to death of apples!”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution, I shall create a man for you.”

“Man, what is that God?”

“A flawed, base, creature with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat and be vain. He will be witless and will revel in childish things. He will be bigger than you and will…

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Titles – How Important Are They and How Do You Come Up With Them?

Author Don Massenzio informs us about title and how important they are. Thank you for this great article, Don!

Author Don Massenzio

Many authors who write book series, James Patterson, Janet Evanovich and Sue Grafton, to name a few, have written books that have common words in them. Patterson uses the word ‘Cross’, as in his character, Alex Cross, in such books as Cross My Heart, Cross Country, etc. Interestingly enough, however, he started out titling his Alex Cross books with nursery rhyme references like Along Came a Spider and Jack and Jill. 

Janet Evanovich uses numbers for her Stephanie Plum novels. She started with One for the Money and is about to release Hardcore Twenty Four. Sue Grafton used the more limiting letter scheme for her titles. Starting with A is for Alibi, she is now about to release Y is for Yesterday. Having titles like these for a series is a great marketing idea and, in the case of Evanovich and Grafton, it gives you an idea…

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Why You Should Still Be Going To Bookstores

Author Charlotte Harter published a great post about bookstores. Honestly: I’ve never been in a bookstore I didn’t like. How about you?

 

Ah, yes. Bookstores. Remember those? They were great. But does anyone actually go to them anymore? In an age where everything is digital, it’s hard to keep the bookstores alive. But guess what? We have to. And here’s why.

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Writer or Psychopath? Top Reasons Authors are Commonly Mistaken for Serial Killers – by Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb publishes a great blog post about the difference between authors and serial killers. I love her blog. She teaches with so much knowledge and humor, incomparable!

 

Writers are different, though maybe you’ve heard you are special…as in “special.” We writers definitely fell off the end of the Bell Curve and probably suffered some head trauma on impact. Which OF COURSE unlocked our inner genius *flips hair*. Oddly, though “normal people” (code for “boring”) often just don’t get us. Heck, often we don’t get us.

I know this is a repost but apparently it is “that time of the month” on Facebook (and Zuckerberg should seriously consider negotiating official FB sponsorship from Midol). Frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that drama.

Especially when there are words to write and characters to torture. So posting this for something FUN.
The world needs more of that, right?

Anyway, I love being a writer. It’s a world like no other and it’s interesting how non-writers are simultaneously fascinated and terrified of us. While on the surface, people seem to think that what we do is easy, deep down? There is a part that knows they’re wrong. That being a writer, a good writer, is a very dark place most fear to tread.

In fact, I think somewhere at the BAU, there’s a caveat somewhere. If you think you profiled a serial killer, double check to make sure you didn’t just find an author.

 

To continue reading the entire article, go to:

http://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/09/writer-or-psychopath-top-reasons-authors-are-commonly-mistaken-for-serial-killers/

October/November 2017 Writing Contests

Rachel Poli listed the October/November 2017 writing contests for us. Thank you so much for your efforts, Rachel.

Rachel Poli

October/November 2017 Writing ContestsOctober 2017

Genre: Fiction
Theme: Short story (new writers only)
Website: Glimmer Train
Deadline: October 31, 2017
Entry Fee: $18
Prize: First – $2,500

Genre: Nonfiction
Theme: Christmas and Holiday
Website: Chicken Soup for the Soul
Deadline: October 31, 2017
Entry Fee: None
Prize: $200

Genre: Creative Nonfiction essay
Theme: N/A
Website: WOW! Women On Writing
Deadline: October 31, 2017
Entry Fee: $12
Prize: $500

November 2017

Genre: Poetry
Theme: N/A
Website: Writer’s Digest
Deadline: November 6, 2017
Entry Fee: $20
Prize: First – $1,000

Genre: Flash fiction and short story
Theme: N/A
Website: Fireside Fiction
Deadline: November 11, 2017 (opens on November 5)
Entry Fee: N/A
Prize: Pays 12.5 cents per word

Genre: Popular fiction (romance, YA, thriller, crime, horror, sci-fi)
Theme: N/A
Website: Writer’s Digest
Deadline: November 15, 2017
Entry Fee: $25
Prize: First – $2,500

Genre: Short Short Story
Theme: N/A
Website: Writer’s Digest
Deadline: November 15…

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