Not Allowed To Love

Sometimes life has things for us in hiding

surprises we are not allowed to see

and all of a sudden, the veil is lifted

and our surprise is here for us, and free.


Have you ever met another person

someone you talk and know, here I am home?

The better you know, the more you talk

the further your thoughts and hopes will roam.


You know that feeling, it is mutual

you know the other feels the same

and still, maybe the times has not been right yet

and not too long, you only memorize the name.


But then, all of a sudden, unexpected

the person walks right back into your life.

Energetic, strong, and here’s that connection

that threatens to become rife.


You talk for hours, holding on and knowing

the other person walks into your heart.

The conversations become more personal

careful still but playing an important part.


It stays like this, you wait for more,

progress is made, the sun starts to shine

A step forward, smiles, jokes, and laughter

and you know, your emotions are  to align


Then, unexpected, without a warning,

The common bond, it breaks apart

confused you try to understand it

but then, the other simply breaks your heart.


And here, once more, you’re sitting lonely

and asking yourself what joke was I the victim of?

How can this happen, I’m not delusional

But maybe I’m just not allowed to love…


(Copyright, Aurora Jean Alexander, January 2021)

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13 thoughts on “Not Allowed To Love

  1. Hi,
    Your poem is the first step to conquering your pain. You’re not a victim but a lovely woman that wants to experience togetherness. That’s a legitimate desire. Hang in there and don’t give up.
    Love you.
    Shalom aleichem

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully heart wrenching. When I least expected it, We found each other. I learned to walk everywhere with a smile for everyone, a spring in my step, that lifted my spirits and was infectious. We married in 2008 he said he noticed me for my happiness. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re not alone in this sorrow, AJ. Many have gone through it. I didn’t find love until I stopped looking for it. When I finally told the Lord I accepted my “alone” state and accepted Him to be the love my heart yearned for, that’s when I found peace. Out of the blue the love of my life showed up. I threw up all the obstacles I could think of because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I said he lived too far away, we could only be friends, but it happened anyway.

    Life isn’t perfect (not even with the love of your life), but when you find peace within yourself with the help of a loving Father, things are brighter. You’re happier and grateful for the things you do have and the freedom you experience by being on your own. Hang onto that until that special person walks into your life. It works.

    Your poem was sad but beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Liked by 1 person

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