A Woman’s Most Hated Annual Appointment

This blog post is part of the BOAW Blogfest 2018, organized by August McLaughlin, founder of the “Girl Boner” brand.

To check out more blog posts, follow the fest and maybe win a fun price, please go to August McLaughlin’s blog and check out the blog fest here:  http://www.augustmclaughlin.com/beauty-woman-blogfest-vii/


I’m still not sure in what category this post belongs. In a way, it’s a health post more than a beauty post. But since beauty and health belong together, it might be both. Then I found out it is a quite ‘clinical’ post… more medical than anything else, and still: at the end I’m talking about a woman’s most private body parts, which makes it very much non-sexual, but still enough to probably belong into the GB version of Augusts blog fest. And that’s why it’s here.

What I said before I find essential to my life. Health and beauty belong together in my opinion. When I feel like a piece of seven-year-old cheese, having a fever, a horrible headache or suffer from constipation, it doesn’t matter how much makeup I plaster my face with, I’m grumpy and unwell, and I won’t be able to shine. I’m miserable, and it shows. A radiant woman is beautiful, a woman who takes care of herself is beautiful. A radiant woman is one who’s healthy and shows it. A woman like this is beautiful. To be and stay healthy, and to make sure we discover early enough if that’s not the case, occasional visits to the doctor belong to our life. But there is this one appointment, no matter how healthy we keep us – this one annual visit – we all hate from the bottom of our hearts.

There is this one picture that’s burned into our thoughts, memories, and brains, forever. That chair. The most hated chair on Earth – and no, it’s not the one at the dentist. It’s the one that’s about 1000 times worse than the dentist’s most valuable possession.

In every woman’s life, there is this one annual medical examination that turns the most peaceful nun into a maddening fury: Her visit to the gynecologist.

You sit in the doctor’s office, talk to your gynecologist for a couple of minutes before he tells you: “Go over there and undress down below.”

You disappear behind that wall and take your pants or skirt and undies off. And I keep asking myself two questions: “My doctor sees everything in only a few moments. What the hell is this wall for?” And: “If ‘undressing my lower regions’ mean everything – what the hell am I going to do with my socks?

Then you take place in that really, really embarrassing chair. You half lean, half sit there in the most unsettling position. And then your gynecologist tells you the first of two standard sentences: “Could you please slide down closer to me.” I always feel like telling him: “Hey, Mister. If I slide down even a couple of inches closer, I’m going to sit on your face! – But who the hell cares. I’m already laying here in the weirdest position you can imagine… go ahead and stick into me whatever you feel like.” Whoops… of course I’d never say that, but I guess, the women who are going through this regularly know what I mean.

He does whatever he has to do to find out if everything is okay. I doubt I need to describe the confusing and often cold touch of the instruments and the uncomfortable feelings. Of course, this examination is necessary and often lifesaving! I am grateful to have the chance to go to these examinations be lucky enough my doctor screens for early detection of a disease or illness! But this doesn’t make it any better.

In the end, the gynecologist usually checks your breasts, which is a good and necessary thing to do as well. But it’s not less embarrassing than the upsetting position in that chair.
I’m positioned there like a stranded whale, and the next thing I hear is the second, deeply disturbing standard sentence: “I’m sorry, my hands are cold.” And here I am, laying as still as I can, thinking with all my mighty thoughts: “Don’t’ get hard, you nipples… relax… Do. Not. Get. Hard.” – Usually, no focus is going to help to avoid the unavoidable. The doctor’s hands are cold! Dammit.

After the examination, you get dressed again, which is probably happening much faster than the undressing, even more, if you decided to keep your socks on.

At my last examination, my gynecologist told me: “You know, I realized you’re my patient for quite some time… let’s see: It’s over 20 years now.” I nodded and looked at him, replying: “Yes, I know. And this makes you officially the longest relationship I was ever in.” He smirked. “Business cooperation you mean?” And my answer was: “Business, yeah, sure, haha. What other man gets that close to me?” He laughed loudly.

And yes, I think it’s a good thing to pick a gynecologist with a good sense of humor!

__________________________________________________

Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com

 

Advertisements

Why Some People Like to Read Sex-Free Romance – Written By Bryn Donovan

Bryn Donovan, writer, optimist and geek, provides us with a fantastic blog post about ‘Sex-Free-Romance’. Thank you so much, Bryn! I love it!

 

 

 


Most readers of my blog know that I write some steamy romance. A few of you even know that in the past year, I got a new job editing “sweet romance,” which is the industry term for romance with no sex at all.
I’ve always enjoyed all kinds of romantic stories and movies as a reader and a viewer, so I don’t find it strange at all to work on both. I’m even in the middle of writing a sweet romance right now.

However, I’ve always known that lots of people, particularly people who haven’t read a romance in twenty years, treat steamy romance writers with derision. They make jokes about the goofy euphemisms romance writers supposedly use for sex organs, although almost all romance writers have discarded these in favor of more direct language.

They also behave as though writers of sexy romance must all be bad writers. Most romance writers are women, and there is some sexism at work here: a discomfort with women authoring sexual content instead of being the object in it.

I’ve known all that for years. What I’ve learned in the past year, though, is that plenty of people also deride sex-free romance.

 

Read the entire article here:

http://www.bryndonovan.com/2017/12/01/why-some-people-like-to-read-sex-free-romance/

 

 

Chapters Indigo Announce That They Plan to Enter the US Market!

I found this article, written by Amy Collins, over at The Story Reading Ape’s blog. This is amazing news!
Thank you Chris and Amy for spreading word about this.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

By Amy Collins  in The Book Designer Magazine 

This is big guys….

While Barnes & Noble, the largest chain bookstore in the United States, has been struggling, Canada’s largest bookseller, Indigo Books & Music, announced plans to expand into the United States for the first time, starting with the Mall at Short Hills in New Jersey, in the summer of 2018.

Currently, Indigo runs 89 superstores under the names Indigo and Chapters, plus 122 smaller stores under the names Coles, Indigospirit, SmithBooks, and The Book Company.

Unlike B&N, Indigo’s online sales grew 15 percent last year, and in the Canadian ebook market, Kobo outsells Amazon.

See the Indigo Q2 Report HERE

View original post

Coping with Reading Guilt in 7 Easy Steps – Published by ‘Fantasy Faction’

Nicola Alter published this article about ‘Reading Guilt’ on the website of ‘Fantasy Faction’. I thought it was worth spreading the word about these seven steps, since I very much suspect I am suffering from reading guilt. Thank you, Nicola!


 

Every year, countless readers suffer from a condition known as Reading Guilt. According to a prominent scientist (or possibly, to no prominent scientists), anxious or time-strapped readers are particularly vulnerable. Sometimes the condition can be so debilitating it actively prevents the reader from reading, which can lead to a dangerous spiral that only further exacerbates the problem.

Signs you might suffer from Reading Guilt of one form or another can include:

1. The pile of unread books on your shelf, be it virtual or real, makes you feel anxious every time you look at it.

2. You occasionally dust off that book your friend loaned you and pretend you are about to read it, knowing in your heart you are just preparing it to collect more nightstand dust.

3. The sight of a bookstore evokes complex feelings of longing and guilt.

4. The book-devouring speed of a well-read friend makes you irrationally envious.

5. The question, “have you read…” elicits an instinctual dread, because whatever it is, you’ve usually never read it.

6. When someone recommends a book to you, you smile and make enthusiastic noises to cover the sinking feeling in your stomach, because it’s just another to add to the endless list and you’ll probably never get around to reading it anyway.

7. You are so behind on that reading goal you set that it just serves to depress rather than motivate you.

8. You have a vague but pervasive feeling that you haven’t read enough of the “important” books.

9. The hunt for bookmarks depresses you, because you realise they are all wedged in half-finished books and you can’t bring yourself to remove them.

10. You participate in online “How many of these books have you read?” quizzes, even though you know the results will not cheer you up.

Read the entire article here:

 

Coping With Reading Guilt In 7 Easy Steps

 

Get Paid to Write Personal Essays: 16 Markets for Freelancers…

On The Story Reading Ape’s blog I found access to Carol Tice’s article about 16 markets for freelancers. Thanks a lot for this information Chris and Carol. I might try one or two of them.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

by Carol Tice  on Make a Living Writing site:

Want to get paid to write personal essays?

It’s the romantic version of being a freelance writer.

Take a vacation, and write about your adventures. Survive your toddler’s terrible-twos and share your advice. Dabble in online dating and tell others the good, the bad, and the ugly about your experience.

Sounds pretty good, right?

If you have a unique perspective, experience, thoughts, or advice from your side of the fence, you can get paid to write personal essays…in just about any niche.

But you need to know where to look to find these gigs, and how to pitch an editor when you do. Note: There are still plenty of opportunities to write personal essays, but not all are well-paying assignments.

Have something to say? Check out these 16 markets for places to get paid to write personal essays:

16 Markets for…

View original post 1 more word

Getting the Most Out of Guest Blog Post – by Yecheilyah Ysrayl…

Yecheilyah Ysrayl wrote a very useful post about guest posts and how to get the most out I them. Thank you for this informative guest post on The Story Reading Ape’s blog.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

Peace and welcome,

Today, I’d like to talk about guest blogging. After all, that is what I am here for. So, let’s chat.

Why is it worth it to Guest Post? Why is it beneficial to write articles on someone else’s blog? Can’t you just write it on your own blog? Surely, the people will flock to you, right?

Your blog home is equivalent to your real home. It is your house, your rules and you can pretty much do what you want. Well, I hope you aren’t getting crazy (we’re still on the World Wide Web) but it is your domain. Naturally, you are going to behave differently on your own blog.

On the other hand, writing articles on other blogs, preferably ones more established than yours, gives you the chance to showcase your work on a larger scale. Whether you are writing an article, an inspiring post, or…

View original post 1,739 more words

It’s Writing You’re Worth – Guest Post by JannyC

Writing was not my first career choice. In fact, I avoided the career path like the plague. It was not a logical choice, or so I was told.  Being a writer is a dream.  What if being a writer is a destiny and sometimes there are some destines you cannot escape. Hello nice to meet you. Let me introduce myself I am a writer.

 

The Beginning

To be honest I have been telling stories since I was 4. They were all in my head acted out via Barbie’s, or She-Ra action figures or me with my friends outside on the playground. This made sense for my first step into the writing world was being a comic book script writer. Writing was a destiny I could not escape. I’ve been writing in this business off and on for nearly 8 years. Freelancing writing is the kind of job that is a side job not your main job to pay the bills with. “Writing” was a dream. I almost believed it. I had stopped writing when one day I got an email from a total stranger. They said they missed seeing my work. When was, my book coming out that I had mentioned I was writing? One person even offered me money to help with my writing career (I declined in case you are wondering.). Next day another email from a young girl who said I inspired her to write herself could I read a sample of her book. BAFLING!

 

Jump Starting

I decided to dive back into my writing taking a serious stab at freelancing writing as my career. I found jobs, but they were usually low paying, no recognition, plus they worked you like a mule job. Hey it was a job, right? You had to start at the bottom and you’re your way, up right? Problem was what I didn’t know was I was selling myself way below my worth. Add onto it these jobs were getting me nowhere. I was writing anonymously. I was not getting KNOWN. All the articles I wrote were basically ghostwritten. If I was to show someone my portfolio what did I have to show?

 

Writing You’re Worth

It took the help of my husband to finally convince me I was not writing my worth. I believed since I did not have the prestige like most writers do of going to college my experience did not count. I schooled myself actually learning first-hand the world of authors and publishers. One thing I learned was that when you are passionate about something you instantly possess that thicker layer of skin they talk about. The literary world can be brutal my friend, and the grammar police are very REAL.  I got truly convinced though when I wrote an article for my husband’s boss for his business and he paid $50.00 for my top-notch work. He loved the article saying to my husband his wife was a phenomenal writer. This made me think. Maybe I WAS not writing my worth.  I decided no more taking writing mill jobs. No more charging low prices because I am some little indie writer.

 

Discovering My Worth

So, what happened? I avoided the sent per word pricing. You can say I am at intermediate level so I just went with a flat rate. I do book promotions and each package includes a complementary book review that goes on Amazon and my blog as well as a promotion week of their book. I had 3 packages people could choose from. $10.00 for one book $20. If you had two books and $30. For 3 or more books. I was very cheap, thinking indie authors will love this. I am so affordable! I was only drawing in $30 to $40 bucks at the most. After discovering my worth I raised my prices to $15., $26, $60.  This seemed to draw more peoples interest in me. More orders started coming in. I had one client order $103.66 dollars ‘worth. It seemed I was doing better charging more that I was charging less! I also had the proof to back up my work via my blog and website I created.

 

If you feel like you’re struggling, ask yourself are you writing your worth?


dsc09294About our guest author JannyC:

JannyC is a published author (Writing under the pen name of Jan Marie.) and freelance writer. She currently writes at Indie Promotions where she helps writers and entertainers promote their work. follow her on

Twitter @ReviewerJannyC

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Indiebookpromotions/

Linkined: www.linkedin.com/in/janis-cramlett-a08b3673