Why I’m Unable To Write My Autobiography

I heard from three writer friends so far that they’re currently writing their autobiography – or memoirs… I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t consider writing my own after getting the idea. But I had to see that this won’t work.

We all know the saying when a writer has the idea for a story in his/her head, it needs to get out and be written. It is a true saying. And that’s why after I got the idea of writing my memoirs two minutes later the idea had been disappeared out of my head again. I figured this meant that this story doesn’t want to be written.

There are many reasons for not writing my autobiography: I always considered great minds, great personalities, famous and respected people do have an autobiography or biography… but me? Who would want to read about my life? It has been normal! In fact, it was extremely normal I think it would be boring to read about it. Yes, there were struggles, so many that it wasn’t an easy life – but these struggles are only important to me! Compared to other people’s problems and challenges mine were so minor.

I understand there are people traumatized as children or young adults and writing down their story might help. I heard about an actress who wrote her memoirs when she was 18 years old. Come on! 18? At that age, you discover that you are legally an adult. Was your life so freaking bad as a teenager? If yes, fine; if no, would I have to read about 15 years of overly dramatic boredom? With me, it’s different!

And I won’t write about a life that is so full of happiness, greatness, adventures and fantastic pictures, which would paint a completely wrong person. Like people who live their life on Instagram. Their lives are full of fantasy, greatness, fun, happiness and impressive pics. How many times do I see some friends of friends posting pics of their vacation in Australia! All people with Koalas on their backs! They all are happily beaming into the camera (except the Koala, whose 400th pic it is that day). One could almost think Australia was only built for Koala vacation. And yes, I’m just kidding.

But I refuse to write about a colorful life that I never had. I don’t need to impress anyone; I don’t need to publish my mistakes and wrong decisions in my life. I only need to make sure one person is going to be good with my life – and that’s my former child-self.

I want that little AJ looking into the future and saying: “Okay, this is the AJ I want to become later. She might not always do what society tells her to. She might not always have decided for the best, and sometimes she’s clumsy and a bit helpless; she trusts people too easily and when she was younger. occasionally she was blind when it came to guys. But hey – she is herself. She’s always been herself. She still has jokes in her head and has incomparable humor. And even though when she’s on the ground, flat on her belly, she gets back up and fights. With pride in her heart and her chin high.”

 

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And then there’s another reason: Writing my autobiography or memoirs, wouldn’t that mean, I never want to be forgotten? I want people to remember me. I figure, to the ones who have me in their heart, they’re going to keep me there. And I doubt I would ever find the impertinence to expect the entire world to keep me for eternity.

What IS eternity? – Yes, I know. The definition of eternity can be read in every dictionary, right? But that’s not what I mean.

From what I hear a priest has described eternity like this: “You see a dove picking up a sand grain at the beach, taking it into its beak, flying up to the moon, letting the sand grain fall. Then the dove flies back to the beach for centuries, picks up the next sand grain, flies up to the moon for centuries, lets the sand grain fall. And again it flies back to the beach, picks up the next sand grain, flies up to the moon, and so on; until it has transported the last sand grain of that beach up to the moon. By then – eternity has just started!”

Would I ever want to be remembered by people – in all eternity? (Or until the Earth explodes, but that’s another story). No, I don’t. I’m going to be at a place, where heaven is surrounding me. I wasn’t great; I wasn’t the best thing humankind has ever seen. Shoot the damned bird. LOL

I think you know what I mean.

Yes, my loved ones, my friends, and my family. Keep me in your hearts. But don’t expect me to write down all my life for people to read it. I keep secrets. At one point, let me go.

Do you write your autobiography or memoirs right now? What is your reason to write it down?

Picture courtesy of: https://www.wildgratitude.com/what-does-dove-mean/
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Adventure In The Woods

Yesterday I surprisingly saw a rainbow and raced to find the end of it. I’m doing this now for many years, and I’m really good at it. I’m fast, in particular. But still, not fast enough. As usually I missed the pot of gold by a nanosecond and stood there, lost.

My sense of orientation only guarantees that I’m not getting lost on my way from the kitchen to the bathroom and that’s why I needed to find ‘something’ to climb on to get at least a halfway decent cell phone reception to call help.

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I was told to walk to the west. After I had safe ground under my feet, I did exactly as I was told – until I realized that either we needed to turn the entire forest about 45 degrees to the left, or the moss on the trees grows on the wrong side.

I was indeed very careful… stumbling across the woods is quite dangerous, in particular when you’re alone, lost and could meet some REALLY lethal creatures, like spiders, ants or the one or other rainworm. I was as well extremely cautious since I didn’t want to end up in some witch oven accidently and made sure I wouldn’t run into a candy house. You never know, right?

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My efforts took me to another challenge… the wild river I had to cross. I was nearly helpless. I mean, how should I ever be able to do this? I’m a weak woman. *sigh*

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At the end finally, I found out of the woods and ended where I started. (At my car, to be precise) With a smile on my face.

I’m sure you might have guessed: I have neither seen witch houses, nor spiders, ants or worms. I wasn’t climbing, and the water I saw was an extraordinarily cute puddle; the only thing running wild was my fantasy, but all in all it was just a beautiful 90 minutes walk through the forest. When did you take the time to do this last time?

Have a wonderful Sunday.

 


 

BOAW – Blog Fest 2016: Beauty changes during the time


Waterolor beautiful girl. Vector illustration of woman beauty salon
Waterolor beautiful girl. Vector illustration of woman beauty salon

 

This year I signed up to participate in the “Beauty of a Woman Blog Fest”, organized by August McLaughlin. Please enjoy the entire Blog Fest by clicking the link.

It is with great pleasure I am able to present my blog participation with the following post:

 


 

Beauty changes during the time:

In the 50s and 60s, the ultimate beautiful woman had a so-called “hourglass” figure. A chest, a butt and a small waist. Let’s travel back in time: in all big “fashion houses” the dresses and clothes were presented to the potential customers. The presenters weren’t window dummies – but real life “Mannequins”. We would call them the predecessors of the Models and Top-Models.

 

They were women – chest, hips and a small waist were their trademark. Even the most beautiful actresses and female stars of this time were fuller-figured women with the same measurements. Female beauty ideal back then was curvy, beautiful, feminine, showing their amenities and being proud of them.

 

Sophia Loren (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)
Sophia Loren (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)
Marilyn Monroe (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)
Marilyn Monroe (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)
Ursula Andress (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)
Ursula Andress (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 70s and 80s show women, who remarkably slimmed down, their curves are still there, but not as explicitly distinct anymore.

I don’t dare to talk too much about the hairstyle and makeup which in my opinion, used to make women of these times look a little bit like extra-terrestrial clowns… but in many ways, their styles showed how much they enjoyed being women.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer (Picture curtesy of www.google.com)
Michelle Pfeiffer (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)
Kim Basinger (picture curtesy of www.google.com)
Kim Basinger (picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The late 80s and 90s brought us breathtaking women, even slimmer, their features often gentle, almost delicate, their curves about to disappear. 

 

Audrey and Judy Landers (Picture curtesy of www.google.com)
Audrey and Judy Landers (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)
Heather Locklear (picture curtesy of www.google.com)
Heather Locklear (picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, with the entrance into the new millennium the female beauty ideal quickly went into the “nothing”… just skin and bones, no hips, no breasts, nothing: walking skeletons on wobbly legs.

Is this really how we women should be, or how we want to be?

When I was talking about this to a group of people a few years ago, a wise man told me: “Don’t starve yourself to this kind of figure, girl. You are right, the way you are. Skeletons aren’t sexy.”

I still love him for this sentence.

 

skinny-modelss_2000s
(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

Or: we got this kind of new, plastic surgical ‘beauty’:

 

(Picture curtesy of www.google.com)
(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)
(Picture curtesy of www.google.com)
(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Do I have to say something about it? Really?

 

Maybe a few might be curious why I was going through all these changes and travelling back in time: What made me? – How do I look then? What is my figure like?

 

I’m not saying too much. Except:

 

hour-glass
(Picture courtesy of: http://cliparts.co/clipart/3550410)

 

 

I have always been a little on the “more”-side and the criticism I had to take for this from all sides have hurt me deeply. During the years, when I had found out that my figure was very fashionable and once a beauty ideal all women wanted to have, I found this fact amusing – but not more. How was this useful for me? I wanted to be fashionable now. With my figure, I was born about 30 years too late. 

 

Am I ever going to be most beautiful to someone who I’d like to welcome into my life? Someone who loves me, just the way I am? With my soft heart, all the love I have to give and my hips, breasts and hourglass figure? 

Now I’m curious… Have you ever had experience with criticism on your figure? Are you happy with yours? Let us hear your experience. 

Thanks for your visit.


 

 

 

20 Writing Prompts – August 2015

Are you suffering from writer’s block? Are you stuck with your writing? Should you be creative in some way and your brain is just “blank”? Kimberely Crawford offers 20 amazing writing prompts in case you need them.

Kimberley Crawford

It’s that time again. Time for another list of writing prompts for your writing pleasure. Use them to help with writer’s block or to get the juices flowing, or don’t use them at all. That’s your choice. I’m just putting them here so you can maybe find some inspiration from them. Anyway, here they are!

  1. Write a myth to explain why the sun sets.
  2. You travel back in time to 1900 BC. Explain how it happened and what you experience.
  3. You were aboard the ship that Christopher Columbus sailed to the Americas. Write about what you experienced.
  4. Rewrite your favourite fairy tale.
  5. You are learning how to fly your first spaceship.
  6. Describe Hell.
  7. Describe happiness as a person.
  8. You invent a serum to help rich people live forever, but they must start their new life at the bottom and start from scratch to gain back their fortune.
  9. Write a potion…

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3 Day Quote Challenge – Day one

I would like to thank Patricia Garcia for inviting me to participate in this 3-Day Quote Challenge. Her blogs and writing as well as her music are an inspiration to me. Patricia Garcia is an amazing personality, a wonderful person and a loyal and caring friend. That’s how I want to be when I grow up.

 

A few years back I was in the middle of a phase in my life where I had problems to focus on my goals. I got overrun by all the bad things happening to the same time. I’ve always been a person to work on trouble or on problems when they show up and eliminate them to continue concentrating on the important things. But at that particular time trouble seemed to know where I was and waited there for me. Being overwhelmed it all felt to be much more than I could handle.

I was always dreaming of being a writer and a published author, but the time back then pulled me into a deep hole where I couldn’t find out anymore.

I followed many advices, too many to be effective, but one advice was a good idea: get distraction. Laugh whenever you can do that. Watch a funny movie, read a funny book and do whatever you can to calm down, which is essential to focus and work on things.

 

I decided to do that and found myself in front of the TV to have fun watching “10 things I hate about you”, with Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles. Heath Ledger played Patrick Verona, a boy in his final High School year.

At one point Pat Verona tells a co-student:

 

“Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want!!”

 

This quote has changed my view on things and challenged me so enormously, I found the strength to do what needed to be done and continue following my dream.

I found true inspiration, just out of a funny teenage movie. And the quote is still with me to this day, on a poster at the door to the room where I usually write.

What quote or quotes has changed one of your mindset and has inspired you to change?

 

Picture courtesy of Google.
Picture courtesy of Google.

 

I would like to invite the three writers whom I have gotten to know to join me by sharing some of their inspirational quotes in the 3 Day Challenge at their convenience.  Their blogs are an inspiration to me and help me very much within the task to become a true writer. I invite you to visit them and be inspired.  

 

F. E. Feeley jr. at: https://authorfefeeleyjr.wordpress.com/

Jen Owenby at: https://jenowenby.wordpress.com/

Renee Scattergood at: http://reneescattergood.com/

 

I am sure we will be able to read amazing posts about inspirational quotes on each of their blogs.

 

Warm regards

Aurora Jean Alexander