A Cat Owner’s Guide to Preventing the Spread of COVID-19 – Written By Cary Vaughn

This is such a funny, true, heartwarming, and caring blog post, I couldn’t resist to re-blog. Thanks for your humor – and your cats, Cary!


 

To most, a cat owner is often stereotyped as being asocial or a solitudinarian. To these shallow cretins, people with cats are as pestiferous as the agoraphobic, online gamers, and those with an addiction to porn so severe it makes God ashamed for inventing sex organs. But 87% of you who are reading this know the truth: cat owners can be just as social as any average person; therefore, they bear just as much responsibility for preventing the spread of COVID-19 through social distancing as you.

But cat owners have an advantage, a built-in defense against socialization that 74.6% of households lack: the combination of a lap and an entitled cat.

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A Bit Of Humor – A Few Jokes – Share The Smiles

I thought it might be a fun idea, just to throw in a few jokes and make you all laugh. I know it’s not much, but if I can make one of you laugh, my good deed for the day is done. Have fun, enjoy and share away.



In Europe lives a family with seven children, three girls, four boys. The youngest of the boys does not speak, he gets older, five, six, close to seven and he still does not say a word. The doctor doesn’t find anything and nobody can help. Finally, the family’s priest recommends them to go to ‘Lourdes’, a catholic pilgrimage destination in France.

To guarantee the kids at home are kept well and safe, the mother stays home and the father takes the boy to Lourdes. When they arrived there, the father takes his son to the holy waters, where he takes the boys’ head and dives it three times into the water. When the boy comes up the third time he coughs and spits and tells his father clearly: “Would you stop that crap? You’re a complete dummy!” – Overflowing with happiness the father runs to the phone to call his wife and tell her the good news: “Our son speaks! He can speak! He called me a dummy!” The mother replies dryly: “And he is absolutely right: You took the wrong kid!”

 

A boy and a girl in a small ‘farmer’s village’ in Europe fell in love. In that time, out in the country, people didn’t like seeing unmarried couples being all over each other, so they had to meet in secret.

One night they decided to meet behind the girl’s home’s backyard. They passionately began kissing – one thing led to another – and the heat of the youth took over and nature took its course.

Afterward, he held her in his arms and softly told her: “I’m so sorry. If I had known you were still a virgin, I had taken more time.” She replied with the same loving softness: “Oh if I had known you had more time, I had taken off my pantyhose.”


(All images and memes are courtesy of Google.com)

 

Had…To…Share!

Thank you so much for sharing these. I had a lot of fun with them.

Two on a Rant

I couldn’t resist sharing these. 

Let’s face it, sometimes we simply need a few seconds of mindless entertainment.

Image may contain: cat

And…. from the entertainment CATpital of the world:

Image may contain: meme, possible text that says 'Just for the record: A person born in 33 was 45 in 78.'

Hey, Buttie, Ice to see you!

Image may contain: 1 person, meme, possible text that says 'THIS IS WHY 198 ce YOU NEVER TAKE UB THE TOP BAG ART'

Some jokes might be funnier if your dog wasn’t like this — at 3 in the morning just after hearing a leaf fall to the ground.

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Because I’m lazy today, this one is last:

Image may contain: possible text that says 'FROG PARKING ONLY ALL OTHERS WILL BE TOAD IF YOUR CAR IS RUNNING I'M VOTING FOR IT WANT TO GROW MY OWN FOOD BUT CANT BACON SEEDS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE? THIS IS MY STEP LADDER NEVER KNEW MY REAL LADDER MY WIFE SAID I NEVER LISTEN TO HER, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I CHECKED INTO THE HOKEY POKEY & TURNED MYSELF AROUND IS THERE EVER MATTRESSES ARE NOT ON SALE?'

Excuse me while I find an ice machine.  I’ve been laughing too hard and need to cool off.

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