Tag: hilarious

Short Story Sunday: Bernie Showers in France – A. J. Alexander’s Short Story on Juliette King’s Blog

~ aurorajeanalexander ~ Leave a comment

Vampire Maman Juliette Kings informed me today that my humorous short story ‘Bernie Showers In France’ has been published on her blog as her Sunday Short story. Thank you so much for all your support, Juliette!! I’m so proud to have you as a friend!

Have a fun read and a few giggles!!

Bernie Showers in France

A short story by Aurora Jean Alexander

Bernie Watson, a self-acclaimed womanizer, always wanted to see Paris. One day he managed to travel to France after tediously scraping up the money he needed for the trip. In his imagination, Bernie saw himself sitting in the first class, sipping champagne and enjoying movies, a beautiful woman next to him. He was dreaming about standing on the balcony of a 5-star hotel with a breathtaking view over the city until he could see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe from far.

Reality looked a bit different. Bernie found himself in the middle row of economy, helplessly jammed between an angry tourist at the end of his vacation and a permanently eating eighty-year-old on the other side, with an ancient Pekinese on her lap.

When he arrived at the hotel, he found that the two-star hotel he had made reservations, was even older than he had suspected from the pictures. It was located in the most run-down quarter of the city. Bernie now wasn’t the most hygiene-fanatic on Earth, but after a trip of roughly 9 hours in an airplane, he still felt the need to shower.

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A Cat Owner’s Guide to Preventing the Spread of COVID-19 – Written By Cary Vaughn

~ aurorajeanalexander ~ 6 Comments

This is such a funny, true, heartwarming, and caring blog post, I couldn’t resist to re-blog. Thanks for your humor – and your cats, Cary!

 

To most, a cat owner is often stereotyped as being asocial or a solitudinarian. To these shallow cretins, people with cats are as pestiferous as the agoraphobic, online gamers, and those with an addiction to porn so severe it makes God ashamed for inventing sex organs. But 87% of you who are reading this know the truth: cat owners can be just as social as any average person; therefore, they bear just as much responsibility for preventing the spread of COVID-19 through social distancing as you.

But cat owners have an advantage, a built-in defense against socialization that 74.6% of households lack: the combination of a lap and an entitled cat.

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A shout out to women over forty! – Courtesy of Floridaborne

~ aurorajeanalexander ~ 2 Comments

I got this from the ‘Two on a Rant’ blog. The post is so hilarious, I just had to re-blog it. Thanks so much for sharing it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not a secret that I’m over forty, (and possibly, maybe, over fifty). So, when I saw this cute and funny post from Women Over Forty, I felt an immediate love for Andy Rooney.

Therefore, I accepted Women Over Forty’s invitation to reblog it.
Women Over 40……

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

“As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

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