My Valentine’s Post About Men, Women, Their Differences – And Giggles

It’s 2021 – another year has passed – and while I hoped things would be clear and happy around my birthday – here I am – a month and a week later and still no flowers. *sigh*

For some reason, I’m surprised sometimes that most men ‘forget’ to give or send me flowers because they tell me they thought I wasn’t the flower-kind-of-girl. WHY NOT? What exactly gives you the impression I wouldn’t like flowers? Flowers are important to me – my favorite flowers are white lilies. BUT: Make no mistake: flowers have a meaning, they are a symbol and they should be used correctly:

  • White lilies and roses – wonderful – for my birthday bunch!
  • Yellow roses – they mean ‘friendship’
  • pink roses – are boring in my opinion and symbolize gratitude and say ‘thank you’
  • white roses: purity, innocence, spirituality – good for bridal bouquets of an 18-year-old – or a funeral
  • red roses: passion, romance, beauty, love – perfect for my valentine’s day!!

But then… men usually only think about flowers when they’re at the gas station and see these plastic-wrapped ‘last-minute-rose’ by the door. I’d love to have Valentine’s Day just once in my lifetime… but since that’s not happening, I most likely just have to pretend I don’t like it so much…

See, men and women are so different in many ways. Let’s see:

Women often complain about how their men/husbands/partners are never on time. It seems we women don’t understand that our better halves are like children when they play with their friends. They meet in a bar, have a couple of beers, and forget the time. At home, they told us, “Darling, I’ll be home latest at midnight,”… and when are they coming home? Sometime in May.

Many women don’t understand that men can be far more sensitive than we think, more profound, elaborate, and far more plaintive! Oh, come on, Guys; you know it! If you don’t feel well, you insist on informing the world! And in particular, you don’t want that anyone trivializes the entire tragic magnitude of your suffering!

If my friend’s husband has a cold, he is hugely hurt if someone asks him: Do you have a cold? His face is red, his nose purple, his eyes at half-mast, and he snuffles: “Cold? Oooooohhhh… my nose is running a marathon… I closed it down with superglue now. They’re still working on a dissolver.” (cough-cough-sigh). “But somehow things have to go on…” (sob)

A woman would get up, take a couple of sinus Tylenol’s, blow her nose, and start her day. Men make a far bigger fuss around their booboos.

If men would get menstruation, you don’t believe they would be satisfied with a simple ‘Always Ultra’? No way! They would carry half a mattress in their pants for everyone to see! And of course, talk about it at work. “Yo, Buddy… got your period again?” – “Ooooohhhh…. Yeah, last night, I’m telling you! I thought I’m bleeding out. And my wife, next to me? Sleeps like nothing is happening. I shook her, yelling at her: Woman, get up! Drive me to the hospital! I need a blood transfusion!” – And you don’t think men would carry tampons discretely in their bag or pocket? No! They would have their own golf-bag for that! Oh well, being a softie isn’t a sin. Compared to other things, of course.

Why do you think it’s said, so many of us ladies don’t meet their husbands in the afterlife? I heard after men pass away, they go to Heaven. The man stands there, in front of Saint Peter, and then they work on the payroll. If they’re above zero, in the end, they remain in Heaven; if they’re below zero, they’ll go to Hell. Life is hard work. Every man gets a minimum salary of $13/hr. That will be quite an amount, let’s say, at the age of 80. And then, of course, there will be the sins to pay for:

  • A lie -$25
  • Cheating -$235
  • Swearing -$80
  • Physical injury -$20,000
  • Masturbation -$0.50 (Yeah, you’re laughing, but hey, these accumulate, ‘ya know)

And then, Saint Peter calculates, and at the end -the guy is 50 cents short…

On the other hand, many men complain they don’t understand us, women! Well, if God would have wanted you guys to understand us, we’d come with a user manual.

Life is serious, sometimes tragic, at times, it’s stressful, hard, and horrible. And in these times, we need something to laugh about, and what would be funnier than the differences between men and women? This was my way to make you giggle.

 

Thanksgiving 2020

It’s Thanksgiving 2020… a day we should find things to be thankful for, even though the year was a hard crisis for many of us, and will most likely not change with the upcoming new year.

Still… at this moment I want to see the positive things, that I have in my life and those are the things I’m grateful for!

I want to say thanks for so many things:

A roof over my head

Something to eat in my fridge

My amazing sister

Wonderful friends

My car

California Sunshine

And that my heart still can LOVE and HOPE


Of course, I’m grateful for the God-given talent to write and that I had the chance to publish three books (and the fourth in the queue…


Last, but not least, I’m grateful for the wonderful subscribers, readers, followers, and friends that make my writing, social media, and blogging so much fun! Thank you!


If you have the chance to spend this holiday with your loved ones and family, please enjoy it. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to see my family this year. I want to wish you and your family members:

Happy Easter 2020

Picture courtesy of Yahoo Finance.com


This year, in March, the world has put on hold. COVID-19 has caused a huge pause in our everyday life. We are on social distancing. Families and friends are separated unless they live in the same household, of course. Instead of strengthening our connections, friendships, and bonds, the dangerous virus forces us to separate.

We can’t meet, we can’t go shopping, hang out in the sun, enjoy spring… We cannot go to church, and even though the strict instruction to stay at home is not followed by far too many people… and the unexplainable grocery-hoarding some people are practicing make that time for the reasonable people very difficult.

But soon, it will be Easter, and I am not going to let this just fall under the table. I will be home, yes…. I will be all by myself, yes… but I will remember the basics of this holiday. That’s how I grew up. I will remember, I will pray, and I will be grateful for the man who sacrificed Himself on the cross – for me… for all of us.


 

Five Holiday Challenges Only Writers Will Understand – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb, one of my very favorite bloggers whose wisdom and helpful educational blog I appreciate very much, published an amazing post about writers and the Holidays. Thanks so much, Kristen!


It’s the holiday season, and this is a tough time for most people. For, writers, it’s peace hell on Earth, largely—though not entirely—due to the whole ‘having to wear pants’ thing.

We authors, historically, have been a misunderstood group of people.

Burned as witches. No holiday there. Survival rate after a political coup? Close to zero. Odds of being shot? Pretty much hundred percent, which correlates closely with odds of keeping mouth shut #FunFact.

Friends and loved ones still invite us to holiday gatherings. Sadly, no ‘burned at stake’ or ‘firing squad’ option. Those require pants, but less talking and no prerequisite to bring some dumb@$$ ‘White Elephant’ gift and a nut-free appetizer.

*makes note to hunt down and murder person who invented ‘White Elephant’ game’*

*Why is the elephant white and not pink?*

*makes note to google that later*

*makes note to put that in novel and kill it*

*along with the person who invented it*

Where was I? Oh yes, holiday stuff. Writers. Why writers should be able to qualify for service animals every year. Holiday honey badgers that bite.

Continue Reading Here

 

Back To Fall

As soon as it’s November
the pumpkins will be gone
the skeletons are in the attic
free of ghosts is our lawn.

**

For a moment there is silence
in peace, our life can stay
for just one small and little moment
before the next big holiday.

**

Enjoy the break and get your strength
you will need it you will see.
Go for walks enjoy the season
be relaxed, and smile, feel free.

**

But first of all, before the break
We need to work and take a beat
to get us through the pumpkin time
and play the trick or treat!

*****

(Copyright: Aurora Jean Alexander, October 2019)

Happy Halloween 2019

What a wonderful Holiday! I’d like to use this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty, thanks for regularly visiting my blog! You make blogging fun for me!

Since this is a Holiday celebrated mostly outside – please, think of taking your pets in, and by all means, protect your black kitties! There are some weird people out there!

And now, please celebrate – I wish you and your families:

 

 

Gifting E-Books…

If you would like to send your ebook as a gift. Allan Krummenacker knows how it works. Thank you very much for sharing this information, Allan!

Musings Of Two Creative Minds

Okay gang, the big day is drawing near and you still want to get a few more gifts but don’t know what to buy, or don’t want to go out into the stores which have already pulled down half of their displays and are lining up Spring stuff. What to do, what to do… how about giving someone a good book to read on their Kindle? It’s fast, easy, and you can have it delivered on Christmas Day and know it will arrive on time…


Didn’t know you could do this? Neither did I for the longest time. I only found out a couple of years ago when we released “The Vampyre Blogs – Coming Home”. I found myself rewarding some of our beta-readers with a free copy of the finished product in whatever form they wished (trade paperback, Kindle, PDF).  Most requested a signed trade paperback, but a couple…

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Happy Thanksgiving 2018

On Thanksgiving Day,

November 22, 2018

I am thankful for the many good things in my life:

Health

Family

Friends

Freedom

Traveling

A home

Food

Brain

Cats

Nature

Clothes

Music

A soon to be published book

The list is endless! I’m grateful for life. I think that sums it up pretty well.

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Also and furthermore I am thankful to have all of you here on Writer’s Treasure Chest, to make my writing journey an adventure. Thank you so much for all your support!

Picture courtesy of Google.com

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I wish you and your families:

Picture courtesy of Google.com