Seumas Gallacher has published a guide to successful author self promotion. It can be bought on Amazon. Thank you very much Seumas – and yes… I got it.
…as much as we storytellers dabble in fiction, fantasy and folklore, finding the elusive silver bullet that drives our masterpieces to the top of the bestseller lists is unlikely to be appear under our pillow like some equivalent of the tooth fairy’s offerings… for almost a decade now (my, how time flies when ye’re enjoying yerself, eh, Mabel?), I’ve derived more pleasure than ever I could have imagined by becoming a writer… Lady Luck has bestowed her blessings liberally in the sales/downloads column, aggregating more than 100,ooo copies across all my Jack Calder crime thriller titles, and my wee guide to using the SOSYAL NETWORKS as a scribbler, SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES…
…I’m often asked what’s the secret to the marketing and promotion WURK that goes into being a modern scribe… okay, I’ll spill the beans… ssshhhh… there is NO secret... but for what it’s worth…
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I have to say, I celebrated the end of the Lenten period by showing myself extremely generous.
a) I helped a little friend of mine to generously apply something similar like sunscreen all over him.
b) I permitted him to relax all day and significantly cool down before offering him more fun
c) I gave that same little friend of mine a free sauna visit
d) Then my little friend got some more time to relax before finally I permitted him to serve his big purpose…
Let me introduce me to my little friend BEFORE my generosity:
And just before he served his purpose: to feed me. 🙂
This, for today, is how I celebrate tomorrow’s Easter Holiday.
I do wish you, my dear loyal followers, readers, commenters, friends and all your loved ones and families:
For a moment I considered telling you my life was dabbling and boring and nothing exciting ever happened, but that’s simply not true. I had many highlights in my life. And if they weren’t there, I produced them. I had ups and downs, some of my decisions were good, others not so much, but I was never bored in my life, not even for one minute.
But there is one thing I’m missing until now: I never had the chance to wear a ballroom gown. Yes, I know, there’s prom… but unfortunately not for me. The reason for that will be staying in the shadows. It just didn’t happen. So, no prom, no gown.
Lately, I was thinking about the gown I would have probably picked. I mean, we agree that every girl and woman once in her lifetime wants to feel like a princess, right? I therefore very much suspect my prom gown would have looked something like this:
I know… it couldn’t be more opulent and flamboyant, right? I still think the dresses are somehow cute. But not for me. I think the blue one would have been closest to my choice back then. It’s cute, I love the cold color palette, and I had been enthusiastic about the different layers of fabric. I would have looked like the strolling version of a sparkling mosquito net, but I had been happy.
Well, my prom age is a few years back. (I love the expression ‘a few.’ It’s extendable). Would I pick one of these now, or did my taste completely change?
You bet it changed. Should I ever have the chance of going to a ball, soiree, dance party where evening gowns are demanded, I would more pick something like this:
But most likely, and because I am who I am, I’d show up in a dress very similar to this one (with different shoes of course since I like my ankles too much to sacrifice their wellbeing to some murderous instruments like these):
Yes, I know. My taste has significantly changed within the past decade (or more). I got more adult, started preferring more the ‘modest’ and classic style, but with a tiny extra that reveals the noble elegance of what I wear.
But I simply doubt I’d ever be invited to some ball, neither today nor tomorrow and probably not even in the next two or eight months.
What am I going to do to fulfill my personal dream of once in my lifetime looking and feeling like a princess?
Aaaaahhhhh…. my wedding! I love to look at wedding dresses, just like every other woman does too. At current times (April 2017) this article does on no account mean I will get married anytime soon.
At this point, looking at possible future wedding dresses, I found out pretty quickly, my taste has changed here as well.
Haven’t I been dreaming of wearing a dress like Empress Elizabeth of Austria, with wide, expanding crinolines and layers and layers of tulle, silk, lace, silver or gold and an enormous train?
This would not be too comfortable, but at least I ensured that I’d spend the day more or less alone since guests, family, and groom would politely stay at least 6 feet away not to endanger polluting my wedding dress nor stepping on it.
Breathtaking, aren’t’ they? And about as comfortable as spending the night on a bed of nails. Fifteen years (or a few more) ago, I had picked one of these without hesitating. Nowadays I’d rather let my fingernails be pulled out than being forced to get married in such a monstrosity. I’m not saying they are not beautiful. More the opposite. I’m only saying, they would look awful on me.
Then I found two other extravagant wedding gowns which made me burst out into laughter. They’re hilarious. I’m trying to imagine how I’d be looking in this dress below on the left: probably like some exploded cotton candy.
And how about the one on the right? AJ costumed as the walking bird flu.
What would I pick now to get married in? Yes… the same simple, classically elegant dress I think would best show who I am.
And should you ever see a wedding from far, where the bride is blond and wearing this dress, then it’s most likely going to be me, taking my last chance ever to wear a beautiful gown. (And promising the love of my life everlasting support, faithfulness, confidence amongst a few other things).
All pictures are courtesy of: www.pinterest.com
…there’s no doubt major characters in a novel carry the storyline to the reader-at-large… the confluence of their highs and lows (in the scribblers’ jargon – ‘the crisis – the solution – the next crisis – the subsequent solution, ad inforeverum’) are the meat and drink of most dramas… but, right here, I must ‘fess up… the delight in having lesser lights intrude is important to this ol’ Jurassic writer… it’s more than just the scrivener’s equivalent of wallpaper music in the elevator, or the colour of the restaurant’s backdrop… the insertion of wee players at pivotal points in my books relieves the main characters from having do everything themselves to move the chapters along… more often as not, they can also provide much needed humorous interludes in an otherwise heavy-duty regimen… Master Billy Shakespeare was an expert in doing so… tragi-comedies are built on such techniques… but I…
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