We’re rarely noticed, but still, we’re there
silently, still beautiful, we roam the air.
We have room on your thumbnail we land
or we can be almost as big as a hand.
We exist in every country, all over the globe
and still, even if scientists did plenty to probe
humankind still doesn’t know us too well
that’s why I’m here for a few facts to tell.
Our babies are tiny and live often in water
up to three years where they eat and grow, and slaughter.
They go through transformation before they turn us
some kind of flyer, beautiful, exotic with a plus.
We come in all colors, big, medium, and small
with wide wings, and thin once, short, fat, or tall.
Some scientists have proven, we are about 7,000 sorts
others think, they’re about 2,000 shorts.
With 28,000 eyes, we can see 360 degrees
We can fly in sunshine, in rain, but not in its freeze.
We have double wings, which can make us last
up in the air – and up to 35 mph fast.
We have six legs and none of us is the same
other flyers compared to us, are kind of lame
We’re carnivores, believe it, in our kingdom we’re high!
I think you have guessed it – I am a dragonfly.
(Copyright Aurora Jean Alexander, February 2021)
Thank you so much for Aunty Acid Story Reading Ape! We all need a bit of her wisdom – and humor!
It’s 2021 – another year has passed – and while I hoped things would be clear and happy around my birthday – here I am – a month and a week later and still no flowers. *sigh*
For some reason, I’m surprised sometimes that most men ‘forget’ to give or send me flowers because they tell me they thought I wasn’t the flower-kind-of-girl. WHY NOT? What exactly gives you the impression I wouldn’t like flowers? Flowers are important to me – my favorite flowers are white lilies. BUT: Make no mistake: flowers have a meaning, they are a symbol and they should be used correctly:
- White lilies and roses – wonderful – for my birthday bunch!
- Yellow roses – they mean ‘friendship’
- pink roses – are boring in my opinion and symbolize gratitude and say ‘thank you’
- white roses: purity, innocence, spirituality – good for bridal bouquets of an 18-year-old – or a funeral
- red roses: passion, romance, beauty, love – perfect for my valentine’s day!!
But then… men usually only think about flowers when they’re at the gas station and see these plastic-wrapped ‘last-minute-rose’ by the door. I’d love to have Valentine’s Day just once in my lifetime… but since that’s not happening, I most likely just have to pretend I don’t like it so much…
See, men and women are so different in many ways. Let’s see:
Women often complain about how their men/husbands/partners are never on time. It seems we women don’t understand that our better halves are like children when they play with their friends. They meet in a bar, have a couple of beers, and forget the time. At home, they told us, “Darling, I’ll be home latest at midnight,”… and when are they coming home? Sometime in May.
Many women don’t understand that men can be far more sensitive than we think, more profound, elaborate, and far more plaintive! Oh, come on, Guys; you know it! If you don’t feel well, you insist on informing the world! And in particular, you don’t want that anyone trivializes the entire tragic magnitude of your suffering!
If my friend’s husband has a cold, he is hugely hurt if someone asks him: Do you have a cold? His face is red, his nose purple, his eyes at half-mast, and he snuffles: “Cold? Oooooohhhh… my nose is running a marathon… I closed it down with superglue now. They’re still working on a dissolver.” (cough-cough-sigh). “But somehow things have to go on…” (sob)
A woman would get up, take a couple of sinus Tylenol’s, blow her nose, and start her day. Men make a far bigger fuss around their booboos.
If men would get menstruation, you don’t believe they would be satisfied with a simple ‘Always Ultra’? No way! They would carry half a mattress in their pants for everyone to see! And of course, talk about it at work. “Yo, Buddy… got your period again?” – “Ooooohhhh…. Yeah, last night, I’m telling you! I thought I’m bleeding out. And my wife, next to me? Sleeps like nothing is happening. I shook her, yelling at her: Woman, get up! Drive me to the hospital! I need a blood transfusion!” – And you don’t think men would carry tampons discretely in their bag or pocket? No! They would have their own golf-bag for that! Oh well, being a softie isn’t a sin. Compared to other things, of course.
Why do you think it’s said, so many of us ladies don’t meet their husbands in the afterlife? I heard after men pass away, they go to Heaven. The man stands there, in front of Saint Peter, and then they work on the payroll. If they’re above zero, in the end, they remain in Heaven; if they’re below zero, they’ll go to Hell. Life is hard work. Every man gets a minimum salary of $13/hr. That will be quite an amount, let’s say, at the age of 80. And then, of course, there will be the sins to pay for:
- A lie -$25
- Cheating -$235
- Swearing -$80
- Physical injury -$20,000
- Masturbation -$0.50 (Yeah, you’re laughing, but hey, these accumulate, ‘ya know)
And then, Saint Peter calculates, and at the end -the guy is 50 cents short…
On the other hand, many men complain they don’t understand us, women! Well, if God would have wanted you guys to understand us, we’d come with a user manual.
Life is serious, sometimes tragic, at times, it’s stressful, hard, and horrible. And in these times, we need something to laugh about, and what would be funnier than the differences between men and women? This was my way to make you giggle.
The Story Reading Ape provides us once again with giggles. Thanks so much for Maxine!
Thank you, Story Reading Ape, for a great giggle early this year! I had tons of fun with these and will spread the smiles!