Lonely

The sun shines warm, the birds are singing,

normally I’d smile, my mood be swinging.

Any moment now the feeling should start

But all I hear is the breaking of my lonely heart.

**

I feel so sad, hanging on a chain

of darkness and misery being hurt all over again.

I’m waiting for freedom of sadness and fears

but all I’m doing is drowning in tears.

**

Being in pain from repeated falls

I feel like prisoner of a hole with high walls.

No way to escape, no chance to climb

my prison was built with blood, pain and time.

**

No chance to free me and nowhere to go

and my hope is dying, that’s all I know.

Yearning for closeness for love and for care

all I got was pain – how could I dare?

**

Instead of an apology I got pain

and what should I say? It was done – again.

I’m asking myself if that’s a new trend

for someone who called himself “friend”.

*****

(Copyright Aurora Jean Alexander, November 2016)


Picture courtesy of: www.google.com
Picture courtesy of: http://www.google.com

A Crushed Heart

There’s a heart, so much in pain

He has hurt it – because he’s vain.

Cruel and ruthless did he say,

She can’t be herself, he wants HIS way.

**

She needs to lose part of her weight

The way she is, became her fate.

All the love and all the bond

She thought they have, but now she’s conned.

**

There was a time they got along

the bond they tied that seemed so strong.

It was destroyed by his flippant view

This was a love he REALLY blew.

**

She thinks back to what could have been

had he listened and had he seen…

But he rather hurt her than understand

He held her heart right in his hand.

**

Instead protecting it as he had told

He crushed it, ruthless and quite cold.

Now she’s there, it’s so much to take

and watches her own heart to break.

*****

(Copyright, Aurora Jean Alexander, September 2016)

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Picture curtesy of: uniqsoul.newgrounds.com
Picture curtesy of: uniqsoul.newgrounds.com

A very special water drop

Picture courtesy of: http://www.optimyz.com/good-news-reducing-water-use-is-easier-than-you-think/
Picture courtesy of: http://www.optimyz.com/good-news-reducing-water-use-is-easier-than-you-think/

 

***************************************************************************************************

Among humankind there’s one thing rife

It’s given to all, it’s hard – and it’s ‘life’.

Some, they say: “Do best you can”.

And others state: “Follow your plan.”

**

The most important thing for us

more than food, embrace or a buss

is liquid, clear, without a taste

We need to drink, to wash and not to waste.

**

It’s valuable, nothing we can miss

It’s life, it’s blood, it’s more than bliss.

Easy to guess what I talk about

Of course it’s water, there’s no doubt.

**

It’s found in springs, in ponds, in lakes,

It’s hidden in rain and in snowflakes.

But there is much more and that is rare

The drops we hold or so we dare.

**

Humor, it can make us laugh

when we tease and when we chaff.

Holding our belly, unable to quit

and roar with laughter at a wit.

**

That’s one moment we produce

that amount of water, a priceless juice.

It’s rare and still it is unique

when it leaves the eye runs down our cheek.

 

**

Even more invaluable is the other sort,

caused by pain, by fear or even tort.

To hurt someone no matter who

is cruel and mean – we know that’s true!

**

That water drop which caused by pain

is all the worse when shed in vain.

No diamond on Earth will be able to pay

for this one drop shed that one day.

 

**

It’s hope that dies and confidence

it’s joy been killed by no more chance.

Emotion directed by grief and fear,

and loss that caused this…

… one…

… sad…

tear.

****

(Copyright, February 2016, Aurora Jean Alexander)

 

 

Sad-eyes-tears-background-desktop-wallpapers-in-widescreen-free
Picture courtesy of: http://www.hdwallpaperscool.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Sad-eyes-tears-background-desktop-wallpapers-in-widescreen-free.jpg

 

When the flame of life extinguishes

Lately I have lost one of my friends. I knew her for nearly 15 years and loved her. She was such an amazing, wonderful person with the greatest heart. Last week I was informed that she is no more.

I dedicate this poem to her. Rest in Peace, my friend.


 

flame_of_life
Picture courtesy of: http://sinistereternity.deviantart.com/art/Flame-of-Life-308336816

 

 

Growing up, she’s the different child

no matter how calm, no matter how wild

it never fits, it’s never a match…

no friends, no fun, on her soul is a scratch.

**

Jokes and laughter every day

but she’s not part – she is the prey!

It took a while, but then the shock

to others she is the laughing stock.

**

The years go by, but not the pain

Everyday life becomes more strain.

Sometimes better, then again for the worse

she knows deeply inside, her weight is a curse.

**

Being an adult she’s got the greatest heart

but people don’t care, they still rip her apart.

She’s so amazing with no edges and nooks

still nobody cares; it’s all about the looks.

**

She’s hurt and used by so called ‘friends’

repeatedly pierced and got no amends.

Getting it bad by only weeks apart

At the end she decided to take heart.

**

She made a decision, in secret, and slow.

that to her it was time to turn and to go

on silent soles, her inside in strife,

she blew out her own flame of life…

**

(Copyright: Aurora Jean Alexander, November 2015)

A light in the darkness

The blackest place to ever see,

can be found inside of me.

All the darkness, all the rage

are collected there inside a cage.

 **

Pain inflicted to my soul

to heal it is my heartfelt goal.

I want so bad to rid my fears

before I have to drown in tears.

 **

Sometimes I get lost in time

my heart, my thoughts covered in grime.

Still I know I have to fight

to one day soon get back some light.

 **

I don’t see the pleasant things

like butterflies and eagle wings.

I only see a deep black hole;

can’t climb the walls, have no control.

**

I beg for mercy, beg for help

all I can do is weep and yelp.

But support is closer than I guess

a helping hand to flee this mess.

**

A candle light cuts through despair

shows me the way, lit-up the stair’.

And only translucently I see a thing

that looks like the feather of an Angel wing.

 **

I yet have to learn to hold on tight

to the arm that wields the sword to fight.

I must identify and cope

with that one emotion, that’s called “hope”.

*****

(Copyright: Aurora Jean Alexander, August 2015)

 

Picture courtesy of: http://www.google.com
Picture courtesy of: http://www.google.com

3 Day Quote Challenge – Day two

Picture courtesy of: http://www.annettalucero.com/the-artist/motivational-speaker/
Picture courtesy of: http://www.annettalucero.com/the-artist/motivational-speaker/

 

During my later childhood and teenager time it turned out I would develop a highly sensitive as well as melancholy personality.

 

Facing problems, getting in trouble, seeing injustice or people needing my compassion made me very sad, even angry. I cried more often than was good for me.

 

In the meantime I learned to control my emotions on a different level. It doesn’t mean things like this don’t touch me anymore. It is just easier for me to get along with them; it as well means than I am helpful and caring – and therefore too often used by people.

 

Not everything in my life went smoothly and too often I faced trouble or problems. When solutions for them are found, I work on it – and what’s done is gone.

 

But I have to admit, if a person does anything bad, hurts me, uses me, humiliates me or is just downright evil I will keep that in mind.

 

It doesn’t mean I can’t forgive. In fact I could, but even if I forgive – I will never forget.

 

 

As many other people I had to learn how to handle the past to leave it behind me and concentrate on the future. This was a painful lesson.

I had a coach supporting me with this task and I still am grateful for all the efforts he was going through.

 

And one day he handed me a little picture with the quote of Lao Tzu:

 

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. Lao Tzu

 

I will never forget. In fact I still have that little card with the quote, even though old and ragged, I’m convinced it will stay with me until it will dissolve.

 

This is a quote necessary to shake me and my mind awake because we were heading into the wrong direction.

 

Thank you for all you have done for me, Mr. E. S. B. God bless you.

 

Aurora Jean Alexander