The secret of internet dating and its devastating repercussions on the human disposition

Today I’m a guest blogger on Juliette Kings’ Vampire Maman blog with one of my humorous posts…
Enjoy the read and laugh heartily. I hope, you’ll have as much fun reading, as I had writing it.

Vampire Maman

The secret of internet dating and its devastating repercussions on the human disposition

Written by A. J. Alexander – Copyright, September 2021

Sex is overrated. Yes, I can easily imagine the confused looks on surrounding faces, would I stand in a room and proclaim that fact, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m talking about the fact that I tried it, and my current opinion is the result of my experience a while ago.

We keep thinking, that’s like in the movies, where the violins cry (meow-meow-meow) and the candles spend warm light (flicker-flicker). It’s a miserable attempt at physical exercise. You hit your skull on the headboard, the nightstand lamp crashes onto your temple, and every five minutes, Mommy comes in and brings cheese sandwiches, now there.

And that’s not even it! I’m beslobbered from head to toe, what am I? A popsicle? And then, afterward… afterward…

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HELP SAM AND ROSCOE MOVE TO THEIR NEW HOME – Written By Juliette Kings

Most of my readers know that I belong to the amazing writing group Writers, Poets, and Deviants. We publish themed anthologies with the fund going to MS charities. We also support and mentor fellow writers. Our goal is to be supportive and celebrate the success of all of our writers, providing a hate free, negativity free, and safe writing community.

None of this would have been possible without writer and my friend Mandy White. Mandy gives us all moral support, makes us laugh, give expert advice on publishing and writing, edits our books, coordinates all of the anthologies, runs our publishing group, and keeps us going in so many ways – all without pay. She is not only a phenomenal horror writer, but a phenomenal human. 

Now Mandy need our help. Please see the message below, check the link, and help if you can.

CONTINUE READING HERE

IF THE TITANIC HAD SAFELY LANDED ON APRIL 16, 1912 – From Vampire Maman’s Blog

April 16, 2012 is the is the day I started the blog Vampire Maman. It also would have been the anniversary of the docking of the Titanic in New York City, if the Titanic had docked.

I have in my possession a curious bit of history. This one is real. Not fiction. It gave me the chills to read this and copy it for this post.

In a scrap book is a press release that would have gone out if the Titanic had landed safely in New York. 

Rather than throwing it out an executive employee of the White Star line put it in his scrap book. And that is where it still is. And here it is…copied exactly word for word from the White Star Line.


CONTINUE READING HERE

Cold Hands, Warm Heart – Written By Juliette Kings (Vampire Maman)

Today I read a piece of Juliette’s history, her past… which involves long years, decades, and even centuries. I never had the courage of asking her how many of them… but one day, she’ll tell me, I’m sure. I felt like sharing this article with you, just because I simply love it. Thanks for sharing, Juliette.


 

My eldest brother Max (10 years my senior) had asked his best friend Teddy to escort me home from the theater one evening. It was 1874. I was 15 years old.

“Your hands are so cold,” he said as he helped me up off of the muddy street onto the boardwalk.

I gave him a coy smile. “I have a cold heart sir.”

He laughed. I never called him sir. He offered me his arm.

I gladly took his arm. “Your hands are positively burning. What sort of fire stirs your soul tonight?” That was pretty forward but I didn’t care. I was floating with the joy of being a flirt and having no brothers or parents around to stop me.

“You’re not like the other girls.”

“No I am not.”

“You’re an impish little thing. It will take a man with a quick wit and a good sense of humor to woo you Juliette.”

“Ahhhh, but you forget I have four older brothers. I pity any man who would have to deal with them.”

“They’ll love any man who is truly in love with you Juliette.”

“I doubt that Teddy.”

Then he stopped and faced me. “I have some news. A secret if you can keep one.”

“Your secrets are always safe with me.”

Teddy had a large smile on his handsome face. “I’m getting married.”

My young Vampire heart literally stopped dead. My head started to spin, but I managed to smile because like all Vampires, I was a natural liar. “Oh Teddy. I’m so happy for you. She really is lovely.”

CONTINUE READING HERE

Tangled Tales – Now Over 200 Short Stories – Written By Juliette Kings

Today I found a great blog post on the ‘Vampire Maman’s blog: A list with 200 of her short stories! What an amazing list! She even added a few short stories from other authors (including mine) but that’s only a detail. Thanks so much, Juliette! I read so many of them. But I sure will find the one or the other to refresh my memory!


 

Short Stories from Vampire Maman

A good portion of the posts on Vampiremaman.com read like short stories, but the list here is of stand alone stories that don’t necessarily follow the tales of Juliette’s life with her husband, kids and assorted Vampire Mom adventures.

Expect the unexpected … and a lot of fun! Click on the title to go to the story.

You’ll find Vampire, parenting, Gothic romance, horror, humor, urban fantasy, science fiction, odd ditties, literary fiction, and other unique and unexpected tangled tales. This isn’t the complete list but it will keep you busy for a while. Keep checking back for more.

* Guest authors  

  1. Dancing on the Beach
  2. Morning in the Vineyard
  3. When You Grow Old
  4. A Man Should Have What He Wants
  5. Ode to a Greek God
  6. The Alley
  7. Off to See the Wizard
  8. Baker Beach
  9. The Necklace (My Christmas Necklace)
  10. The Travelers
  11. Captain Sandy and the Airship at the End of the World
  12. Perfection
  13. The Shadow of Fire
  14. Robert and the Key *
  15. Dark Politics
  16. Romance of the Needles

CONTINUE READING HERE

The Famous ‘House Special’ – Guest Post on Juliette Kings’ Vampire Maman Blog

 

The Famous ‘House Special’

Written by A. J. Alexander

A while ago, back in Europe, when I was traveling with a friend, I went for dinner to a restaurant that belonged to a very nice Italian couple. It was in Rome.

You know, when you go to European restaurants, there are these eight-to-ten people tables for tourists, where they place you on, and unless the table is filled up, you won’t get served.

My friend and I had a lot of fun. I don’t belong to the people who always want to eat steak and fries or fish and chips wherever they go. I’d like to know what a country has to offer me. And here it was the same thing.

Confidently I told the waiter, I want to have the ‘house special,’ no matter what it is. He was a bit surprised and asked carefully, “Are you sure?” I confirmed that I was, indeed, very sure.

He brought us soup and salad ahead; then, the entrees were served. My friend got steak and fries, and I got the ‘house special’… it was a bird, a tiny bird. It was lying there, all by itself, on a small white plate.

The little head hung halfway over the plate; one of its eyes was open, one closed, beak, feet, and claws were still entirely there.

So far, I have always taken on every challenge I had accepted, even the ones to myself. But in that particular case, the question was not, would I really go through with this? The question was, “How?”

There is something we all can learn from American ‘Haute Cuisine’… One can eat everything imaginable on Earth, no matter what it is, provided it fits in a bun.

CONTINUE READING HERE

 

Short Story Sunday: Bernie Showers in France – A. J. Alexander’s Short Story on Juliette King’s Blog

Vampire Maman Juliette Kings informed me today that my humorous short story ‘Bernie Showers In France’ has been published on her blog as her Sunday Short story. Thank you so much for all your support, Juliette!! I’m so proud to have you as a friend!

Have a fun read and a few giggles!!


Bernie Showers in France

A short story by Aurora Jean Alexander

Bernie Watson, a self-acclaimed womanizer, always wanted to see Paris. One day he managed to travel to France after tediously scraping up the money he needed for the trip. In his imagination, Bernie saw himself sitting in the first class, sipping champagne and enjoying movies, a beautiful woman next to him. He was dreaming about standing on the balcony of a 5-star hotel with a breathtaking view over the city until he could see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe from far.

Reality looked a bit different. Bernie found himself in the middle row of economy, helplessly jammed between an angry tourist at the end of his vacation and a permanently eating eighty-year-old on the other side, with an ancient Pekinese on her lap.

When he arrived at the hotel, he found that the two-star hotel he had made reservations, was even older than he had suspected from the pictures. It was located in the most run-down quarter of the city. Bernie now wasn’t the most hygiene-fanatic on Earth, but after a trip of roughly 9 hours in an airplane, he still felt the need to shower.

Continue Reading Here

 

You wait at my door

I found a beautiful poem on the Vampire Maman’s blog. Please take the time to read it. I’m convinced you’ll love it as much as I do. Well done, Juliette! ❤

Vampire Maman

You Wait At My Door

You wait at my door,

Your bite still fresh,

Your cries

Your pleading

Your banging

The scratching

Your love

Astounds me

You will not give up

Fangs set

Love forever

I must let you in

For after all

Despite all

Forever all

I laugh

I smile

I let you in

You are my cat.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

oscar-the-cat

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CAMP FIRE: How to Help

Thank you very much, Juliette Kings for this blog post concerning the horrible California fires! Please check it out and help, if you have a chance. Thank you.

Vampire Maman

The list below is but a few organizations and individuals helping victims of the Camp Fire in Northern California. Feel free to add more resources, or resources for the Southern California fires below. And if you have Dutch Bros. Coffee in your area stop by TODAY, get coffee, and donate.

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North Valley Animal Disaster Group

Camp Fire

Thank you for the outpouring of support for the work of all-volunteer, all-donation-supported NVADG.  We have many teams behind the fire lines evacuating, feeding and watering animals. Veterinarians are with us providing emergency animal care/triage as well. Teams are transferring animals just outside the evacuation road-blocks to emergency response volunteers who are transporting animals to the emergency shelters.  We appreciate the support of all our partners during this unprecedented fire event.

IMPORTANT:  Please DO NOT email requests for service to our website email address.  Call our hotline, 530-895-0000. Our volunteers are taking…

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