You know, there are days, when I answer questions… there are so many of them, in very different aspects of life. But most of them are about relationships. Of course, I’m not a magazine, or newspaper, nor do I have a public advice column, that’s why these things are kept in the dark.
But there are moments things want to come to the light.. Like in one case…
Dear Miss A. J. Alexander
Lately, I had to read in my wife’s diary that she suspects I secretly read her diary. I consider that an enormous betrayal of confidence, since we swore to always discuss disagreements in the open. How should I react to that now? Is my wife still trustworthy?
Dear Mr. O. from Frankfort, KY
… or may I call you Mort? Apparently, you can read. In some cases, we are supposed to be satisfied with very little…
Some men can often not even imagine women write diaries. Why? Because men don’t write journals and women usually hide theirs at places men cannot even imagine exist, like in the cleaning supply closet.
I know one woman whose husband didn’t merely read her diary. He revised it! He was a teacher. So, at night, she found her entry from the day before, and underneath there was a Micky Mouse sticker and a grade. And on the side, he had added supplementary notes, like ‘factual incorrect, it’s 9 ½ inches’ – or ‘add a more detailed description, what exactly means ‘the hot waiter’? or ‘shrink testicles doesn’t have a capital T.’
Why don’t you write into your wife’s diary that you wonder what gave her the idea you might read her diary? – And then go and pack your stuff…
I thought it might be a fun idea, just to throw in a few jokes and make you all laugh. I know it’s not much, but if I can make one of you laugh, my good deed for the day is done. Have fun, enjoy and share away.
In Europe lives a family with seven children, three girls, four boys. The youngest of the boys does not speak, he gets older, five, six, close to seven and he still does not say a word. The doctor doesn’t find anything and nobody can help. Finally, the family’s priest recommends them to go to ‘Lourdes’, a catholic pilgrimage destination in France.
To guarantee the kids at home are kept well and safe, the mother stays home and the father takes the boy to Lourdes. When they arrived there, the father takes his son to the holy waters, where he takes the boys’ head and dives it three times into the water. When the boy comes up the third time he coughs and spits and tells his father clearly: “Would you stop that crap? You’re a complete dummy!” – Overflowing with happiness the father runs to the phone to call his wife and tell her the good news: “Our son speaks! He can speak! He called me a dummy!” The mother replies dryly: “And he is absolutely right: You took the wrong kid!”
A boy and a girl in a small ‘farmer’s village’ in Europe fell in love. In that time, out in the country, people didn’t like seeing unmarried couples being all over each other, so they had to meet in secret.
One night they decided to meet behind the girl’s home’s backyard. They passionately began kissing – one thing led to another – and the heat of the youth took over and nature took its course.
Afterward, he held her in his arms and softly told her: “I’m so sorry. If I had known you were still a virgin, I had taken more time.” She replied with the same loving softness: “Oh if I had known you had more time, I had taken off my pantyhose.”
Today I was thinking about checking out my ‘Council Of Twelve’ characters a bit more carefully and more in detail. But where to start? (I’m not necessarily talking about the names). I have twelve amazing personalities. But one blog post about the characteristics of a dozen very unique natures would end up in me still typing next Thursday and you reading until Christmas. I tried to limit the number of my Council of Twelve members to the original four. and had to re-phrase my question: “What character has which character?” Who is Raphael, how is he? How different is he from, let’s say, Gabriel. What are their characteristics based on?
The last question was quite easy to answer, considering I’m a woman… The Zodiac signs!
Yeah – great!
The four oldest members of ‘The Council Of Twelve’ were not born, they were created. Therefore, they don’t have a Zodiac sign.
With a huge sigh, I left the Astrology up to the stars and tried to find out my own characteristics. How can I write about other characters if I don’t even understand my types of characteristics in a professional way?
And there, the first giggles started already. I started at the basics… how did personality, characteristics, and psychology even develop? Where did I start? I’m telling you, I had a good time starting with Hippocrates and his four-temperament-theory.
The four temperament theory is a proto-psychological theory which suggests that there are four fundamental personality types: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Most formulations include the possibility of mixtures among the types where an individual’s personality types overlap, and they share two or more temperaments. The Greek physician Hippocrates (c. 460 – c. 370 BC) described the four temperaments as part of the ancient medical concept of humorism that four bodily fluids affect human personality traits and behaviors. Modern medical science does not define a fixed relationship between internal secretions and personality, although some psychological personality type systems use categories similar to the Greek temperaments. (Source, Wikipedia)
After the history of Hippocrates and the blood-related psychology didn’t take me anywhere, I checked out different personality tests, which all ended up completely confusing. One tells me I’m an extrovert, the other tells me I’m an introvert, one tells me I’m an overcareful personality, while the other informs me that I should try to connect people. Otherwise, I could ‘end up in loneliness.’ I was about everything in between, from a hermit to a party-girl. I didn’t believe the one or other.
Then I read about the Meyers-Briggs Types. According to Meyers-Briggs, there are 16 personality types. I found that quite interesting and read a bit more about it. It seems in a way explainable and after studying the type indicator, which you can find here:
I took the free test because I was curious. I had considered myself an INFP Personality and turned out to be an INTP type, “The Thinker.” I was quite close, though.
In case you are curious, here is the personality type page I did the test on. It also shows you the type indicator and tells you exactly what the letters behind every personality means. – CONTINUE TO THE PERSONALITY TEST PAGE
Then I got one step further: since I am definitely not one of the founding members of ‘The Council Of Twelve,’ I do have a Zodiac sign. How well are the description of my Zodiac sign match the description of my ‘Meyer’s-Briggs’ personality test result? Let’s find out:
Not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security
Spend a lot of time inside your own mind
Strong ability to analyze problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations
Highly value intelligence and knowledge
Love new ideas and become very excited over abstractions and theories
The Capricorn woman might not be very confident, extrovert, and bold. Seduction and sexiness aren’t her favorite techniques. But she is very graceful, polished and well mannered. Capricorn nature is never overly emotional and dramatic. She will remain practical, emotionally stable, and sensible, even in the most sensitive situations. She is great at learning from mistakes. Unlike many women, she is open to constructive criticism. (Sorry, when it comes to me, that sentence is totally wrong. I just left it in the description because it made me laugh loudly.)
The Capricorn woman in marriage often keeps her own desires and needs behind for the happiness of the family. She is smart, hardworking, and capable of achieving the toughest goals in life. She also has a huge appetite for physical love and lust.
Capricorn females are often so fearful of the future that they become worriers before time. Small tensions and anxieties can make them gloomy, depressed, and pessimistic.
Now, according to these personality studies of myself (HAHA), there are, indeed, a few conformities which I had marked with colored text. These similarities might be a coincidence, or there is indeed something about Zodiac signs.
All this taught me that no personality test is going to tell me I can’t be grumpy when I’m in a bad mood, even though I’m the most balanced character on Earth.
It also taught me, that this particular analysis of myself has taken me about four and a half hours. If I have to analyze each of ‘The Council Of Twelve’ characters this way, you won’t be able to read another book in the series before Easter 2032!
I figure I will continue building my characters the way I’m used to and won’t try to make them more detailed that Hippocrates told me to. LOL
But if you had taken the Meyer-Briggs test please, let us know the results in the comments. I thought it a lot of fun.
We asked an expert to swing by and give some tips for putting romance into another genre. He made a wrong turn and ended up in the Bedlam series, so now we’re stuck with Delvin. Take it away, Mercenary Prince.
Always remember their name. Seriously, nothing will get you hit quicker than saying the wrong name. In fact, you’re probably in a bad spot if you have to juggle so many women. That’s how you get beaten in an alley by a mob of angry women. Totally justifiable, which is why I avoid this situation. That and I’m a one woman type of guy. I have a specific . . . is it getting hot in here?
This tip is a little tricky. You can compliment other women, but be careful with how you do it. Going too far will get you in trouble with…