What Would I Say To My Younger Self?

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Dear AJ

In only a few short days it will be 2019 and I decided today, that it might be time to look back to your life and maybe help you out living it by sending you some advice. You’re 16 years old and I think it’s time you get some hints.

Just in case you think someone plays a trick on you, believe me, nobody does! Look at your desk. The lowest drawer, in the very back, there is a little envelope, glued to the bottom of the drawer. You remember you hid a love letter, a dried red rose and a silver necklace with a heart from your very first ‘boyfriend’ ever? How would I know about that if I wasn’t you? Let me tell you: one day you will regret the decision to throw that envelope away, after keeping it for more than 15 years. One day the world will be drowning in so-called ‘cell phones’ where you can talk on the phone and send messages all over the world, anytime, at any place, and secret love letter such as this one will cease to exist. Keep it in your heart, him, who has made your first kiss an unforgettable experience and, despite the age gap, treated you with utmost romantic respect, making your ‘relationship’ one of childlike innocence with no pressure and no demands.

But that is not the reason why I’m writing to you. I would like to tell you that your life is not going to be as easy as you thought it would be. In many ways, you are too trusting and if you don’t quit to believe every story people tell you and try to help them with whatever you own, early enough, you will go through quite poor times. Be a little trustful, be a bit more careful and please, be the tiniest bit more selfish. You will always do everything for everyone and too often you will face broken promises, downright lies and a hell of an empty bank account. You know how you grew up – with the natural helpfulness your Dad gave you, the sense for the responsibility you were taught and sensitivity you will find out years later, you have. You’re strong, you’re a fighter, but your nature makes it easy for people to use you. Don’t let that happen and set a ‘stop’ early enough! It’s easier to stay strong and say stop than using your strength to fix later what others did to you. Remember: If you are making yourself a doormat, don’t be surprised if everyone keeps wiping their boots on you!

Remember that several of your teachers mentioned that you are a talented writer? You love writing, poems, and stories equally! Essays are easy for you to write, and you love to build stories, fairy tales, and fantasy worlds. Keep it up, girl! Use this gift and start writing early. One day you will be able to publish by yourself! I know you write regularly, but don’t hide what you are writing! Soon enough you will see it’s a good idea to start letting people see it! One day, I promise, you will publish a book. I only wish you would do that earlier!

Other than that, I refrain from going any deeper into your life. You are emotional, passionate and stubborn. Who says which one of these is a virtue or a weakness? I found out, each has its place in your future. Things are going to be the way they were planned for you. Everything happens for a reason, and there is rarely a bad situation that doesn’t result in something good.

Just one more thing: If you are offered a great chance, take it! It’s good to balance the pros and cons, but if you keep balancing you might miss the chance! Don’t be too scared. Take the step and see where the path leads you to! You must know, there is nothing worse in your life than the regret about the opportunities you didn’t take!

Now take care, be a good girl and keep smiling. Your humor is one of the things in your life and personality that make you who you are!

With love, hugs and the best wishes for your (our) future!

AJ

The Day I looked Into The Mirror

Dear face,

 

After all these years of our cooperation, I thought I’d send you a letter. Just in case you’re asking yourself what the reason for this outpour is, there are several.

First, I’d like to say that I know it wasn’t always easy with me. Sometimes I have wanton neglected you, provided you with too much sun, too much snow or salt water. I let you experience dirt, mud, heat, ice, height, wind and air that cold, you nearly froze. I withheld the cream you needed, the humidity and once in a rare while, I paved you with makeup.

We both have come a long way together, and you went through so much with me, I felt I owe you an apology.

It’s time to realize; we’re facing the time when we aren’t silky and smooth anymore.

I discovered one thing today: you provided me with laugh lines. Nobody knows better that I love to smile and it shows. Thank you for them!

You don’t make me look grumpy and old – you make me look radiant, no matter what I put you through.
And I promise you something: no matter how deep these laugh lines get: I will never try to hide them by filling them with powder. There’s no reason. You show my humor. This bone flour is nothing but an agricultural damage.

You and I will be together for another very long time, and my laugh lines will get deeper. Maybe gravity will kick in. (Believe me, you’re not alone; the rest of the body is in that process too.)

But no matter what we’re going to face together, I hope we’ll never be losing our smile, our laughter, the sparkles in our eyes and our laugh lines.

I know I wasn’t always happy with you. But I figure, all in all, I could have gotten it worse.

I want to say thank you for going all the way with me – and I wish us both good luck for the future.

 

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(Copyright: Aurora Jean Alexander, June 2017)

 

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