Just in Time for Halloween – Written By Cary Vaughn

The writer of ‘The Reluctant Cat Owner’s Journal,’ Cary Vaughn, has published a blog post I could not deprive you of enjoying. The author is, of course, a cat daddy and also an unbelievably gifted writer. No matter what the situation with the cats is, Cary masters it, writers about it, and makes his devoted fans (like me) laugh. Thanks so much for this wonderful post, Cary. And speedy recovery to the kitty!


 

As I’ve mentioned before, Predator Face has a habit of sneezing phlegm onto our walls and floor since the day of his adoption. In my opinion, this has made housekeeping more laborious than necessary.

As I’ve also mentioned before, Predator Face recently lost the ability to breath through his nose, making him sound like a snotty, mouth-breathing toddler with the flu. Not, stertorous. More slurpy, like breathing through a mouthful of gelatin.

 

At first, his condition was pathetic and sad. But it didn’t take long before the slurpy mouth breathing became a nuisance. For example, I no longer woke in the middle of the night to the adorable rumbling of his purr as he nudged me for attention.

CONTINUE READING HERE

A Cat Owner’s Guide to Preventing the Spread of COVID-19 – Written By Cary Vaughn

This is such a funny, true, heartwarming, and caring blog post, I couldn’t resist to re-blog. Thanks for your humor – and your cats, Cary!


 

To most, a cat owner is often stereotyped as being asocial or a solitudinarian. To these shallow cretins, people with cats are as pestiferous as the agoraphobic, online gamers, and those with an addiction to porn so severe it makes God ashamed for inventing sex organs. But 87% of you who are reading this know the truth: cat owners can be just as social as any average person; therefore, they bear just as much responsibility for preventing the spread of COVID-19 through social distancing as you.

But cat owners have an advantage, a built-in defense against socialization that 74.6% of households lack: the combination of a lap and an entitled cat.

Continue Reading Here

Your Cat Is Not Trying To Kill You

“Don’t believe the nonsensical propaganda you read in pop-lit and websites. Your cat is not trying to kill you. There is simply no reliable evidence supporting these presumptive murderous intentions.”
This is the first sentence of a blog post, written by Reluctant Cat Owner. I enjoyed the post so much that I needed to share it. Besides: I’m sure many more cat owners need to see and read it! Have fun!

The Reluctant Cat Owner's Journal

Don’t believe the nonsensical propaganda you read in pop-lit and websites. Your cat is not trying to kill you. There is simply no reliable evidence supporting these presumptive murderous intentions.

I don’t dispute that if you were to suddenly drop dead, your feline companion would contract a severe case of indifference; however, it is extraordinarily improbable that your bucket will be kicked by a four-legged degenerate.

How do I know your cat wants you alive? Because through the logic of inductive reasoning (a methodology used by prominent, modern thinkers such as Dinesh D’Souza, Louie Gohmert, and Monty Python), I have discovered that domesticated cats feed on negative emotions. If you take issue with this theory, ask yourself why cats maul your loving hand but never puncture a major artery, or why they trip you only in the absence of sharp objects on which to impale your head? I’ll tell you why. Because the pain and suffering they produce is part of their nutritious, balanced diet.

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