Recommendation vs. Reality – How To Deal With Rejection

1. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
2. TALK ABOUT IT
3. CELEBRATE IT
4. LEARN FROM IT
5. PICK YOURSELF UP

There are all these amazing lists of recommendations on how to deal with rejection. Of course, I’m not saying they’re bad! More the opposite. We writers should read them, internalize the help and support other writers and psychologists are giving us! We should be grateful to know who we can turn to when we need comfort and what to do with the given advice. I’m serious, and there is no sarcasm in my words!

Take the list above. Each one of the points has a foot long explanation online, and every word is supportive and well meant. If any writer asked me how I’d deal with rejection, I would most likely use exactly that particular list and give calm and well-considered explanations with each advice.

But let me be honest: what is my reality? What are first and true emotional reactions on rejection? – This:

What are my honest (AND SECRET!!) replies to the recommendations mentioned above?

Don’t take it personally, right now it’s just not a good match yeah, good match my ass. These guys don’t see my knowledge, my talent, my abilities or my potential. They’re BLIND!

Talk about it go to your shrink and tell him that you are suffering, because rejection hurts! And then get a triple-box of Xanax and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Celebrate it – the rejection gives you a chance to improve your writing!  Of course! We got nothing better to do than to sacrifice a bottle of champagne to someone who’s hurt, stabbed – KILLED us!

Learn from it. Yes, we will, since we can show we can learn and deal with all this. – Forget that crap – I learned my craft, and I know what I’m doing – and no teenager barely out of high school is telling me what I’m doing wrong.

Pick yourself up – yes, because it’s easy to continue submitting. We are convinced there’s a great match somewhere. – Of course, after we found the light swimming in the lake of our tears and after we have nearly drowned in self-pity, we might consider submitting again. In like – two, three years, maybe?

I admit I’m curious… am I the only one who doesn’t take rejection well? Yes, I know, I’m an adult, I should stay calm, I should use my brain and my ability to accept constructive criticism. But I don’t. I’m acting like a kindergarten kid. My face, my brain, my knowledge, my experience tell the other person: “Yes, you’re right, thank you for the advice, it will give me a chance to improve.” But my emotions, my really, really enraged heart screams: “You prove me – and prove me a hundred times more you can do it any better before you DARE rejecting my work and therefore hurting, criticizing, insulting and humiliating me.”

Really, with all my life experience, all my rationality and common sense sometimes I’m such a wimp.

Do You Want Your Books in Barnes & Noble? – Written By Judith Briles

Thank you very much for all the information you’re providing us with, Judith. We really appreciate your help and support. I’m convinced I’m not the only one who would love to see my book in Barnes & Noble one day!


Do you want your books in Barnes & Noble?

If yes … here’s the truth …

YOU HAVE TO SUBMIT TO B&N for bookstore consideration and purchase. ALWAYS. You submit to the SMALL PRESS DEPARTMENT.

And yes, there are hoops you need to jump through.

 

To read Judith’s full article, go to:

https://thebookshepherd.com/do-you-want-your-books-in-barnes-noble.html

 

Fashion For Characters I

For some time now I realize that very often the book cover varies significantly from the story of a book. Quite pronounced it shows in the genre ‘Historical Romance.’

Now, don’t get me wrong! I don’t mind that much! Unless of course, the story tells us of a golden-haired beauty and the cover shows a black-haired gypsy woman I often don’t care.

I’m not complaining about anything within the book! Very often Historical Romance tells us a story of two loving people in the medieval times, being pushed into an arranged marriage by society and their families and falling in love for the first time.  Blessings to them! Falling in love is an exquisite feeling and should be enjoyed.

Let’s see: When I researched for this blog post, I have seen the U.S. covers of some of Virginia Henley’s older books and liked them a lot. By continuing the research, I discovered the German book covers of Virginia Henley’s books and laughed loudly.

Oh – no! Not what you think! I love them. They’re beautiful, they’re artistic, they’re intriguing, and they’re sexy. Just what I’d been expecting of the story. – But they don’t show anything historical in the lady’s dresses as they were around 1300 when the stories are supposed to take place.

Within the story, Virginia Henley talked about wide, flowing robes, made of light and beautiful fabric, unique and sexy, showing the women’s ‘ripe breasts’ and feminine curves.

Let me show you what I’m talking about:

Picture courtesy of http://www.amazon.de
Picture courtesy of: http://www.amazon.de

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Now, seeing these wonderful dresses on the cover pictures and carrying these images through reading the romance makes the fun twice as nice. Seeing the beautiful sexy ladies and the strong muscular, handsome men and reading about their eternal love makes for an enjoyable time.

At this point now I have to be fair and add that I don’t ‘blame’ Virginia Henley for anything. She’s a great writer, and I enjoyed reading the few books I have from her.

But I’m afraid, right now I have to ruin our dreams of sexy medieval ladies in wide hot high slit dresses of silk and purest sensuality.

The sad truth is that medieval ladies in their gowns looked more like this:

 

Picture courtesy of: http://www.pinterest.com
Picture courtesy of: http://www.pinterest.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I figure every nun dresses sexier than these medieval ladies. But I as well understand that it would be a little, let’s say, ‘difficult’ for a lady to show yourself as being enormously sexy in a dress where the man of your dreams has to peel you out of that very same dress like an onion.

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When it comes to reading a medieval historical romance book, I’m the first one to admit that looking at a book cover like this wouldn’t tickle my ‘need’ to buy that book in the first place, let alone read it.

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Picture courtesy of: http://www.pinterest.com

 

On the other hand, seeing a book cover like this below and feeling like reading a steamy historical romance would make me buy it immediately.

 

Picture courtesy of http://www.amazon.de

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Now I’m curious: When it comes to historical romance or historical fiction, what do you think? Are we, as writers, permitted to add a little fantasy, a little imagination and a little cheating when it comes to the fashion – either on the cover or within the story? Or should we be very strict in sticking to facts? Please let us know your opinion in the comments.

 

The Aesthetic of a Full Figured Woman

E. R. Smith from “bronxbeyondborders.com’ published a fantastic blog post I can’t resist re-blogging. It is an article about the ‘Aesthetic of a Full Figured Woman’; a subject that I hold dear and near. I think she did an amazing job with this post. Please, check it out.

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Bronx Beyond Borders

By: E. R. Smith

Reflecting on aesthetics, I couldn’t get Alessia Cara’s song out of my head.  Really, I am still humming it as I write.  She sings “Scars to You’re Beautiful”.  She tells the tale of a girl, like me, that you don’t see in magazines.  A girl craving the adoration reserved only for the beautiful, or so she assumes.  Alessia’s observation is that, “She don’t understand she’s worth it.”  

I decided to take a look at full figured aesthetics in the arts; and how artists reflect on what is striking, sensual, lovely.  Artist Peter Paul Rubens offers vast examples of women considered full figured at the time; but like the plus sized models of today they rarely measure past size 14. Yet, still there is no Twiggy here.  Venus at the Mirror (1615) and Ermit and Sleeping Angelica (1628) are two of…

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An Essential List Every Author Should Read

Picture courtesy of: http://www.derekhaines.ch/justpublishing/an-essential-list-every-author-should-read/
Picture courtesy of: http://www.derekhaines.ch/justpublishing/an-essential-list-every-author-should-read/

 

I personally think it’s important that we do share this with our upcoming new authors. Being one of them myself it scared me half to death. But hearing the truth – and reading this list is still important – and it leaves me a choice. Do I want to continue? Or do I just look out for another dream?

 

 

 

 

http://www.derekhaines.ch/justpublishing/an-essential-list-every-author-should-read/

 

Why I’m Mad About Self-Publishing Stigma

Liz Long probably speaking for many Indie-authors. Read her article. She rocks!! Thank you, Liz!

I’m mad.

What’s worse is that what I’m mad about is truly something out of my control. There’s not a thing I can do about it except keep pushing barriers. To hold my head high and keep on keepin’ on with the rest of the crowd.

You can probably guess why I’m angry thanks to the headline. Wait – no, I’m NOT mad about self-publishing. But rather the thoughts behind self-publishing and the ideas that we’re not as good or “real” as traditionally published authors.

The publishing system isn’t broken by any means, but the stigma behind “traditional” and “indie” publishing has really gotten my goat lately.

I’m independently published, or self-published. What does that mean? It means I do not have an agent or traditional publisher backing me. It means that I’m in control of my stories, my edits, my covers, my marketing, and everything else that goes along…

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