Why Does A Romantic Book End At The ‘Happily Ever After?’

Picture courtesy of Google.com


I suspect we all know the touching moment we waited for after we were going through the adventures of the romantic couple. We smiled with them when they found each other. We were happy with them when they fell in love. We cried with them when they lost each other because of some horrible misunderstanding. And, of course, we celebrated when they found each other again, kissed and ‘lived happily ever after.’

And now?

Don’t we ask ourselves how their wedding looked like? How are their families, how their friends? Don’t we wish sometimes we could play a ‘fly on the wall’ seeing how their relationship develops when challenged by marriage?

And that’s when my imagination runs wild.

Of course, it would be amazing and heartwarming to see their wedding. Because weddings are always touching and celebrating and viewing the ‘good’ in everything and everybody.

And then our couple moves in with each other. Both go to work… every morning she makes her favorite coffee, every morning he tells her that this particular brand gives him bad reflux. Then they climb in their own cars and drive off, only to see each other late at night, due to overtime and traffic jams.

She cooks, but he’s not home. Disappointed, she covers his meal and puts it away in the refrigerator, leaving him a note before she goes to bed. He comes home late, makes himself a sandwich because he can’t stand that particular dish, and never dared to tell her.

The weekends they often spend with their in-laws’ camping or in the one or other backyard with a barbecue. They can’t go on vacation… because they can’t get off the same time – and of course, they cannot stay away from work longer than a weekend.

Even though everyone waits for them to announce that they are expecting, that never happens because both are too busy to make money and soon buy their own house… Unfortunately, they don’t realize they are waiting too long until she’s in her forties and finally decides it might be too risky to have a child now.

Occasionally they’re going out for dinner, but mostly they don’t have to say much to each other unless they discuss the job… and then it’s Monday, and the routine starts from scratch.

They might buy the house everybody expects them to buy. It’s a breathtaking museum, but they’re too busy with their job to enjoy it… it’s not a home, it’s just a status symbol. And they both continue working.

And at one point they realize… they don’t have that much to say to each other. They don’t know, do we actually know each other? Or did we just rush into our marriage because everybody expected us to; our families, the readers…

Basically, their marriage is the wrong coffee, and a woman who cannot cook… it’s everything everyone expects, but to them, it’s just routine and boredom.

And that’s why a romantic book usually ends with the kiss and the ‘happily ever after.’

A Little Bit Of Sarcasm – And Weddings

Lately, I heard about the wedding of one of my former boyfriends. Well, it took him quite long to decide, even though his new fiance/wife was not exactly innocent… considering she got pregnant just before his famous ‘level 4’.

Well… the groom and I were… once… you know… quite close. We liked each other – just at one point, he needed distance. After about two years, the distance was that big, we decided not to continue the relationship. It didn’t make sense.

Now… what are some weddings nowadays? 150 guests. Like a mass-wedding, I am indeed glad I’m not part of. However, once invited you can barely stay away since, of course, the newlyweds expect many presents… or presents in monetary-form, of course. Even though once I read on a wedding announcement, “Money presents are uninspired, particularly small ones.”

Why not just giving the account number where we can transfer the money to? Then the guests can do that… for the closest family member, a few breadsticks and a glass of cheap bubble water – and then the couple can take the money and go to their honeymoon.

But no… it always has to be something like a  Hollywood wedding but a wedding somewhere out in the countryside, where the utmost symbol of ‘good taste’ is the several thousand dollar-bridal gown which, according to the bride ALWAYS is very modest! While it’s created with Wite-out colored hundreds of yards of tulle and a huge bow on the bride’s ass, which makes her look like a mix of a Barbie doll and a Bavarian beer tent.

Courtesy of Google.com

Of course, there are a few other things that cannot go missing like white doves, flower girls with lace dresses, bows in the front, and frills in the back… and I’m asking myself why the entire effort? In five years, they’ll be divorced anyway.

But however… one has to go – which makes me happy I now live too far away to participate in that feast of waste. I know the woman… she’s a living nightmare in bows – but he doesn’t need my help – one day he’ll find it out anyway.

I can’t stand this kind of wedding. Whenever I went to one in the past few years, there were always this handful of old aunts and their second and third cousins around, elbowing me in the ribs and winking at me “You’re the next – you’ll be the next.” That behavior only stopped when I started doing the same thing at funerals.

Now, I found out that there are things on Earth that are simply a ‘fairy tale.’ Downright lies. Like the big and only love… A made-up story by Hollywood to make sure we true believers in true love are running to the movie theater to watch Pretty Woman or Titanic…

You know… maybe there is this true love – but it’s rare – very, very rare. There might be the one or other couple that loves each other and rarely ever argues or discusses something. – Lately, I saw an interview with a couple that had celebrated their 50th anniversary! That is quite an achievement! They asked the husband if he never ever considered a divorce – and he said: “A divorce? No – but murder – yes.”

That’s reality – and not three-story wedding cakes and chubby-cheeked flower kids. One day, the bride wakes up and realizes, the wedding cake is gone, the chubby-cheeked flower kids have turned into a bunch of snotty junkies, and since the wedding, the husband has never given her flowers – or compliments anymore and what they now laugh about most are his burbs… or other body functions, and she asks herself if that is going on like that for the next thirty years.

A smart woman once said: “A good man knows to die on time to make sure his wife has at least a few years she still can enjoy. The advantage of a widow is that she always knows where her husband lies.”

Oh well… I figure at times I’m glad I never was a bride. Maybe I just got my expectations too high and my imagination of a wedding too low. LOL

However – after writing this very sarcastic blog post – I might consider going around the corner to that Italian restaurant I discovered, with the singing guitar player… about 106 years old – but still smiling (or at least trying to smile). The waiter is not the sexy Italian dark-eyed romantic girl everyone expects, but a Neapolitan former docker, about as wide as high with so much chest hair that you have to send a search party for his gold chain…

Just one more thing… don’t take it all too seriously, have a good laugh and an amazing day.

I Never Wore A Ballroom Gown

For a moment I considered telling you my life was dabbling and boring and nothing exciting ever happened, but that’s simply not true. I had many highlights in my life. And if they weren’t there, I produced them. I had ups and downs, some of my decisions were good, others not so much, but I was never bored in my life, not even for one minute.

But there is one thing I’m missing until now: I never had the chance to wear a ballroom gown. Yes, I know, there’s prom… but unfortunately not for me. The reason for that will be staying in the shadows. It just didn’t happen. So, no prom, no gown.

Lately, I was thinking about the gown I would have probably picked. I mean, we agree that every girl and woman once in her lifetime wants to feel like a princess, right? I therefore very much suspect my prom gown would have looked something like this:

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

I know… it couldn’t be more opulent and flamboyant, right? I still think the dresses are somehow cute. But not for me. I think the blue one would have been closest to my choice back then. It’s cute, I love the cold color palette, and I had been enthusiastic about the different layers of fabric.  I would have looked like the strolling version of a sparkling mosquito net, but I had been happy.

Well, my prom age is a few years back. (I love the expression ‘a few.’ It’s extendable). Would I pick one of these now, or did my taste completely change?

You bet it changed. Should I ever have the chance of going to a ball, soiree, dance party where evening gowns are demanded, I would more pick something like this:

.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

But most likely, and because I am who I am, I’d show up in a dress very similar to this one (with different shoes of course since I like my ankles too much to sacrifice their wellbeing to some murderous instruments like these):

.

Yes, I know. My taste has significantly changed within the past decade (or more). I got more adult, started preferring more the ‘modest’ and classic style, but with a tiny extra that reveals the noble elegance of what I wear.

But I simply doubt I’d ever be invited to some ball, neither today nor tomorrow and probably not even in the next two or eight months.

What am I going to do to fulfill my personal dream of once in my lifetime looking and feeling like a princess?

 

*******************************

 

Aaaaahhhhh…. my wedding! I love to look at wedding dresses, just like every other woman does too. At current times (April 2017) this article does on no account mean I will get married anytime soon.

At this point, looking at possible future wedding dresses, I found out pretty quickly, my taste has changed here as well.

Haven’t I been dreaming of wearing a dress like Empress Elizabeth of Austria, with wide, expanding crinolines and layers and layers of tulle, silk, lace, silver or gold and an enormous train?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This would not be too comfortable, but at least I ensured that I’d spend the day more or less alone since guests, family, and groom would politely stay at least 6 feet away not to endanger polluting my wedding dress nor stepping on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breathtaking, aren’t’ they? And about as comfortable as spending the night on a bed of nails. Fifteen years (or a few more) ago, I had picked one of these without hesitating. Nowadays I’d rather let my fingernails be pulled out than being forced to get married in such a monstrosity. I’m not saying they are not beautiful. More the opposite. I’m only saying, they would look awful on me.

 

*******************************

 

Then I found two other extravagant wedding gowns which made me burst out into laughter. They’re hilarious. I’m trying to imagine how I’d be looking in this dress below on the left: probably like some exploded cotton candy.

And how about the one on the right? AJ costumed as the walking bird flu.

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*******************************

 

What would I pick now to get married in? Yes… the same simple, classically elegant dress I think would best show who I am.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

And should you ever see a wedding from far, where the bride is blond and wearing this dress, then it’s most likely going to be me, taking my last chance ever to wear a beautiful gown. (And promising the love of my life everlasting support, faithfulness, confidence amongst a few other things).


All pictures are courtesy of: www.pinterest.com