BOAW – Blog Fest – Girl Boner Entry – PG-18

This post is part of the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VI! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page between today and 11pm PST March 11th.

the-beauty-of-a-woman-blogfest-v1-2


Lies, boring sex and does size really matter?

Once upon a time… It was a while ago I was in a relationship I considered to be happy. It was a long-distance, long-term relationship, and later engagement. And there it languished. If we had lived closer together, I eventually had realized much earlier, that this guy was a lazy, lying, nightmarish sociopath. But for a while I was happy. He made me happy. He made me feel like I was the only one, the prettiest, the most beautiful woman! (I found out later he told this to at least 6 or 7 other women too – at the same time – but that’s not subject of this post).

At the time he made me happy, satisfied me in bed until I finally realized two things: The man had literally no idea how a female body works, and I wasn’t sure whether he was properly educated when it comes to the ‘birds and the bees’.

Maybe this might help him: https://youtu.be/i0ZF543HQ9Y

Yes, he carefully watched my reactions, and I figure his request for me to let myself go and make noises during sex made it easier for him to see what action leads to what reaction. But other than that, he was more or less helpless.

·    He had no idea why women menstruate

·    He had no clue how to recognize when a woman fakes an orgasm

·    He was totally oblivious how many orgasms a woman can have before dying

·    He figured the more orgasms, the better satisfied

·    The thought of a woman faking an orgasm just to get him off her finally never occurred to him.

As for me: I finally realized how boring this man was. All he was (and probably still is) interested in is sleeping, eating and sex. And there we go: He was even boring in bed. Due to us being apart for long times and then meeting again, it took me a while to find out that these sexual meetings always followed a certain program. Like a time frame, or maybe a ‘user manual.’

1. Tell her you love her

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

3. Tell her you missed her

4. Repeat point 1 – 3 excessively

5. Undress her

6. shower with her (because she insists)

7. tell her some more she’s beautiful

8. give her oral satisfaction

9. extend that until she screams

10. before she sneaks off (again), finally try to get your own satisfaction (provided it stands)

That was about it. There was no variation, no ideas, no new things, nothing magic, not even much fun after a certain time.

In the end, I finally just sighed and shortened the entire happening somewhere between point 1 and 4 – and again around point 7 and 8. Earlier screaming makes the entire thing end up faster, right?

And there was something else that irritated me to no end: his pride about the size of his penis. I just frowned at him when he mentioned the 9 inches. Do I need to understand what the point is why men need to show off their size? Provided of course they have it! Because of these 9 inches were, if not a lie, at least an exorbitant exaggeration. To this day I still believe he read that one number ‘upside down.’ It would explain a lot.

At the end it came as it had to: The relationship came to an end. Do I regret what happened? In a way, I do, yes. It shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realize how boring the man was, both in and outside the bed.

It took me a while to get out of the grief – but once I got over it, I thought, okay. Next time it will be better. And I thought it did…

*****

Unexpectedly and to my great surprise a man from my past showed up out of the shadows. Over 20 years ago we had worked together on a project, but once the project had ended, we’ve never seen each other again.

That man was so handsome when he was younger! Back then he had swept me off my feet. And now he came back into my life to do just the very same thing again. I’m no kid, and I usually don’t suffer from unexpected hallucinations. He got older, just as I did. We all change a bit with age. The only difference is that I’m realistic about it – he isn’t.

His way of making love with me was to ‘jump on me,’ wild, feral… his foreplay limited to the words “Are you awake?”

Considering the years before I had the most boring sex one can only imagine, this might have been a welcome change. For just a moment. Then I woke up. My man complained I was “too aroused.” I hate to say that, but I had to really, I mean, really control myself extremely hard not to laugh out loudly. Why? Let’s say it this way: As a woman in love, you don’t tell the man of your desire that he does turn you on, but unfortunately he’s got a penis about the size of an IHOP breakfast sausage.

And no, this is not me making fun of him. I’m 5’3″ and never had a child. My gynecologist uses his instruments the size for young girls – and still, I had the feeling having sex with my boyfriend was like throwing a wiener into a garage… What does that tell us? The good thing was: I knew it wasn’t me. He is that convinced everything about him, on him and in him is totally perfect, he had to find a reason why our sexual being together wasn’t as good as he wanted it to be. And since he “is” perfect, it was my fault.

Only a while later he told me, he wanted me to lose weight. – And that was it for me. Couldn’t he find a way to accept me the way I am; even more since he told me before that he would? I informed him that it was time to say ‘goodbye.’

To my great surprise, this got to me. I was extremely depressed after this separation. I missed him horribly… But I am lucky. I have the most wonderful friends on Earth. They helped me getting over him and comforted me.

I think the final moment when I was prepared to let go, was that particular day when I went grocery shopping and heard a song that reminded me of him. In a blur, our time together raced through my memory… and I thought to myself: “Really, girl… did you want to stay together with a man who is that bad in bed?” And then I started laughing.

It is, I might add at this point, a little embarrassing to laugh out loudly and being unable to stop, in the middle of a supermarket, right between broccoli and bananas. However, I made it out alive. The only thing I regret until this day is, that I never gave him “The Kamasutra” for his birthday.

*****

These two relationships taught me three things; I better keep in mind from now on:

1. I need a man who has a goal in life that goes further than meals, sleep, and sex. I need a man who moves his ass and works for what he wants and has a certain fantasy and ideas; a man with a certain education, whose messages I can read without flinching over the misspellings and who is experienced and interested enough to find out how to satisfy a woman. A man, with whom sharing intimacy makes my skin tickle, my skull explode until I can count the stars in the sky and my toenails roll up.

2. Does size really matter? To me, it does, yes. Do I compare? Was that one better than this one? Hell no! The size of the penis isn’t half as interesting as the man that’s accompanying it. But to me, there needs to be ‘something’ to feel.

3. I am, in my very individual and unique way, beautiful. And I deserve better than what I have been accepting of a relationship for the past few years.

 

I, therefore, decided to celebrate my beauty. I am unique; I am special, I am beautiful, I am humorous, loving, caring and helpful… I am many things; and yes, in bed I’m a revelation. *wink*

I deserve to have what I want, and I deserve to be happy!

*****

BOAW – Blog Fest 2016: Beauty changes during the time


Waterolor beautiful girl. Vector illustration of woman beauty salon

Waterolor beautiful girl. Vector illustration of woman beauty salon

 

This year I signed up to participate in the “Beauty of a Woman Blog Fest”, organized by August McLaughlin. Please enjoy the entire Blog Fest by clicking the link.

It is with great pleasure I am able to present my blog participation with the following post:

 


 

Beauty changes during the time:

In the 50s and 60s, the ultimate beautiful woman had a so-called “hourglass” figure. A chest, a butt and a small waist. Let’s travel back in time: in all big “fashion houses” the dresses and clothes were presented to the potential customers. The presenters weren’t window dummies – but real life “Mannequins”. We would call them the predecessors of the Models and Top-Models.

 

They were women – chest, hips and a small waist were their trademark. Even the most beautiful actresses and female stars of this time were fuller-figured women with the same measurements. Female beauty ideal back then was curvy, beautiful, feminine, showing their amenities and being proud of them.

 

Sophia Loren (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)

Sophia Loren (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

Marilyn Monroe (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)

Marilyn Monroe (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

Ursula Andress (Picture courtesy of www.google.com)

Ursula Andress (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 70s and 80s show women, who remarkably slimmed down, their curves are still there, but not as explicitly distinct anymore.

I don’t dare to talk too much about the hairstyle and makeup which in my opinion, used to make women of these times look a little bit like extra-terrestrial clowns… but in many ways, their styles showed how much they enjoyed being women.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer (Picture curtesy of www.google.com)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

Kim Basinger (picture curtesy of www.google.com)

Kim Basinger (picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The late 80s and 90s brought us breathtaking women, even slimmer, their features often gentle, almost delicate, their curves about to disappear. 

 

Audrey and Judy Landers (Picture curtesy of www.google.com)

Audrey and Judy Landers (Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

Heather Locklear (picture curtesy of www.google.com)

Heather Locklear (picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, with the entrance into the new millennium the female beauty ideal quickly went into the “nothing”… just skin and bones, no hips, no breasts, nothing: walking skeletons on wobbly legs.

Is this really how we women should be, or how we want to be?

When I was talking about this to a group of people a few years ago, a wise man told me: “Don’t starve yourself to this kind of figure, girl. You are right, the way you are. Skeletons aren’t sexy.”

I still love him for this sentence.

 

skinny-modelss_2000s

(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

Or: we got this kind of new, plastic surgical ‘beauty’:

 

(Picture curtesy of www.google.com)

(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

(Picture curtesy of www.google.com)

(Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Do I have to say something about it? Really?

 

Maybe a few might be curious why I was going through all these changes and travelling back in time: What made me? – How do I look then? What is my figure like?

 

I’m not saying too much. Except:

 

hour-glass

(Picture courtesy of: http://cliparts.co/clipart/3550410)

 

 

I have always been a little on the “more”-side and the criticism I had to take for this from all sides have hurt me deeply. During the years, when I had found out that my figure was very fashionable and once a beauty ideal all women wanted to have, I found this fact amusing – but not more. How was this useful for me? I wanted to be fashionable now. With my figure, I was born about 30 years too late. 

 

Am I ever going to be most beautiful to someone who I’d like to welcome into my life? Someone who loves me, just the way I am? With my soft heart, all the love I have to give and my hips, breasts and hourglass figure? 

Now I’m curious… Have you ever had experience with criticism on your figure? Are you happy with yours? Let us hear your experience. 

Thanks for your visit.


 

 

 

Book Quote Challenge – Day Three

This last day of the challenge, day three, I chose three quotes from Umberto Eco’s “Name of the Rose”.

 

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I prepared this post February 19, 2016 in the morning, without knowing that the writer of these quotes and this fantastic book would pass away Friday Night in Milan.

R. I. P. Umberto Eco! You will be missed by many authors whose inspiring example you were!

Umberto Eco

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Each of this quotes came from the lips of one of the main characters, Franciscan Friar, William of Baskerville. A monk, a teacher, a former inquisitor, an investigator – and foremost, a book lover.

How much I admire him and his wisdom. But read for yourself:

 

*****

“Show not what has been done, but what can be. How beautiful the world would be if there were a procedure for moving through labyrinths.”  

**

“Nothing gives a fearful man more courage than another’s fear.”  

**

“How peaceful life would be without Love, Adson. How Safe. How Tranquil. And how Dull.”  

*****

 

I was told I will have to continue the challenge by nominating three writers/bloggers who will be willing to post their own quotes.

My three nominees are:

Jen Owenby: https://jenowenby.wordpress.com/

Bette A. Stevens: http://4writersandreaders.com/

Jennifer Hinsman: https://hinsmanj.wordpress.com/

I’m sure we’re going to get the most amazing book quotes from you!! I can’t wait to read them. Good Luck and have fun!

 


 

Picture courtesy of: http://revistamagna.com.ar/el-libro-perdido-la-risa-perdida/

 

 

Book Quote Challenge – Day Two

Today, on Day Two I picked three quotes from one of the best books ever written: James Clavell’s Shogun.

 

I personally think these quotes are so impressive, true and powerful, it isn’t really important which character said them.

In every single case, their truth and significance within their purity touched me.

 

*****

“How beautiful life is and how sad! How fleeting, with no past and no future, only a limitless now.”  

 

**

“Patience means holding back your inclination to the seven emotions: hate, adoration, joy, anxiety, anger, grief, fear. If you don’t give way to the seven, you’re patient, then you’ll soon understand all manner of things and be in harmony with Eternity.’ ”  

**

“We have a saying that time has no single measure, that time can be like frost or lightning or a tear or siege or storm or sunset, or even like a rock.”  

*****

 


 

Book Quote Challenge – Day one

Many thanks to Patricia Ann Schaack Garcia for inviting me to participate in the Book Quote Challenge.

 

It is a great honor for me to follow in her foot steps. And that won’t be an easy task. But I’ll do my best.

 

I have to present three quotes per day by an author  of my choice for three consecutive days.  My quotes for today have been picked from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”.

**

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”  

**

“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”  

**

“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.”  

**

I’m sure, I don’t need to explain why they impressed me so much or who said what… These quotes are legendary – and they’re kind of burned into my memory.

 

Thank you Jane Austen for this wonderful story!


 

 

The 79-Word-Challenge

Yesterday I read on The Story Reading Ape’s blog about the 79-word challenge. The idea was actually brought up by Andrew Joyce who says he didn’t come up with it himself. If you’d like to read the entire post, please go to The Story Reading Ape’s blog and read the entire post.

I was thinking about this challenge for a while during further exploring Chris Graham’s blog. He had posted continued 79-word-stories by so many different, excellent authors.

They can be found here:

October 8, 2015: The first 7 79-word stories

October 9, 2015: 10 more 79-word-stories

October 10, 2015: 12 more 79-word-stories

 

By the time I had read them all, I definitely felt challenged. About 2 hours later I had entered my share to The Story Reading Ape’s Email address and the wait started.

Today I got word that my entry was accepted and published together with 5 other stories tonight at 6 pm London time.

I’m so excited!! – Oh yes, of course: my entry can be found here:

 

http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/2015/10/11/38946/

 

Thank you, Andrew Joyce and Chris Graham for this wonderful challenge and all your efforts!!

 

 

 

3 Day Quote Challenge – Day three

It’s time to talk about the power of positive thinking. Do I believe in it? You bet I do! But at this point I do have to admit it took time for me to learn how to focus on positive thinking.

It is too easy to take all the negative thoughts we’re facing in our life and channel them to let them poison our future. I was no exception. Bathing in the negativity and all bad things happening I became negative and didn’t find out of this circle. I woke up, every single day, being in a bad mood… I did not see the surrounding beauty anymore; I did not feel joy and happiness anymore; there was no chance of appreciating even small things in my life.

When being lucky enough to have a little success, I only felt bitterness about the success not being bigger.

I did not like my life, my surroundings, other people, and worst: myself.

One day I was on the phone with a friend who had always been by my side for years. That day, once again, she told me she needed to go. Compared to the hours we had been on the phone for years, I realized she did not really want to talk to me anymore. This time, I asked her why. And she replied: “I can’t take your negativity anymore, girl. You always were so funny, positive and happy… but the past couple years you became a nightmare to be around. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Your negativity is pulling me down and I don’t want that anymore.”

This made me carefully consider what was wrong. I was unhappy, I knew that. And I had to do something about it. I did research and finally found an excellent motivational speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer. Many things he said were just as general as with many other motivational speakers. But one thing touched me. Just one sentence that changed me and my attitude and made me find my way out of the ocean of sadness and negativity I swam in:

 

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

 

Of course things didn’t change from one day to the next, it took a while. And it is quite easy to fall back into old frames.

But I found a good path to see things differently and the positive things happening.

After all: even bad experiences might lead to something good; you never know what Karma has prepared for you!

I am a much happier person now. People around me are happier too – and yes, my friend and I are talking and chatting together again, now I lost what had bothered her.

Even though it doesn’t work every time, I still try to find the smallest positive thought in things. Like for example: “Let’s take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly”.

I live, I learn and I’m grateful to be able to do that!

A. J. Alexander