Mother’s Day – May 14, 2017

There are so many unique women out there! So many of my friends, readers and followers are wonderful, amazing Mom’s!

For May 14, 2017, Mother’s Day, I wish you ALL:

 

 

This is a special day for ALL Moms!!

Seriously… I too occasionally was told by some people: You can’t celebrate Mother’s Day. You’ve never been a Mom. – But of course, I am a Mom! Maybe I never had to change diapers; maybe I never will have to pay for bicycles, car driving, school money and prom clothes.

But I CARE for my babies, as much as every other Mom does. I take them to the doctor to get their vaccines and take them when they’re sick. I make sure they’ve got healthy food, plenty of vitamins, shelter, something to drink and clean whereabouts. I brush them, when it’s necessary and make sure they’ve got good hair and nails. I take them to clean their teeth and keep themselves clean. I LOVE and PROTECT them!! And just because I don’t have to buy them clothes and shoes, and they’ve got tails and four paws, doesn’t mean they’re not my babies.

 

 

 

Slower Blogging For Two Weeks

Hello,

This is just a quick information. Currently, I am quite covered in work and therefore had to decide to slow down my activity on ‘Writer’s Treasure Chest’ for two weeks.

I will still check in and try to do what I can. Additionally, I have a couple of posts prepared, but from End of April through Mid-May I will be very busy.

Hopefully, you will enjoy my blog posts after my return.

Thank you so much for your understanding! Have a wonderful springtime and see you soon!

 

End Of Lent – 2017

I have to say, I celebrated the end of the Lenten period by showing myself extremely generous.

 

a) I helped a little friend of mine to generously apply something similar like sunscreen all over him.

b) I permitted him to relax all day and significantly cool down before offering him more fun

c) I gave that same little friend of mine a free sauna visit

d) Then my little friend got some more time to relax before finally I permitted him to serve his big purpose…

 

Let me introduce me to my little friend BEFORE my generosity:

Picture courtesy of: https://www.adn.com

 

And just before he served his purpose: to feed me. 🙂

 

This, for today, is how I celebrate tomorrow’s Easter Holiday.

 


I do wish you, my dear loyal followers, readers, commenters, friends and all your loved ones and families:

 

Picture curtesy of: http://eastereggs7.org/

 

I Never Wore A Ballroom Gown

For a moment I considered telling you my life was dabbling and boring and nothing exciting ever happened, but that’s simply not true. I had many highlights in my life. And if they weren’t there, I produced them. I had ups and downs, some of my decisions were good, others not so much, but I was never bored in my life, not even for one minute.

But there is one thing I’m missing until now: I never had the chance to wear a ballroom gown. Yes, I know, there’s prom… but unfortunately not for me. The reason for that will be staying in the shadows. It just didn’t happen. So, no prom, no gown.

Lately, I was thinking about the gown I would have probably picked. I mean, we agree that every girl and woman once in her lifetime wants to feel like a princess, right? I therefore very much suspect my prom gown would have looked something like this:

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I know… it couldn’t be more opulent and flamboyant, right? I still think the dresses are somehow cute. But not for me. I think the blue one would have been closest to my choice back then. It’s cute, I love the cold color palette, and I had been enthusiastic about the different layers of fabric.  I would have looked like the strolling version of a sparkling mosquito net, but I had been happy.

Well, my prom age is a few years back. (I love the expression ‘a few.’ It’s extendable). Would I pick one of these now, or did my taste completely change?

You bet it changed. Should I ever have the chance of going to a ball, soiree, dance party where evening gowns are demanded, I would more pick something like this:

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But most likely, and because I am who I am, I’d show up in a dress very similar to this one (with different shoes of course since I like my ankles too much to sacrifice their wellbeing to some murderous instruments like these):

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Yes, I know. My taste has significantly changed within the past decade (or more). I got more adult, started preferring more the ‘modest’ and classic style, but with a tiny extra that reveals the noble elegance of what I wear.

But I simply doubt I’d ever be invited to some ball, neither today nor tomorrow and probably not even in the next two or eight months.

What am I going to do to fulfill my personal dream of once in my lifetime looking and feeling like a princess?

 

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Aaaaahhhhh…. my wedding! I love to look at wedding dresses, just like every other woman does too. At current times (April 2017) this article does on no account mean I will get married anytime soon.

At this point, looking at possible future wedding dresses, I found out pretty quickly, my taste has changed here as well.

Haven’t I been dreaming of wearing a dress like Empress Elizabeth of Austria, with wide, expanding crinolines and layers and layers of tulle, silk, lace, silver or gold and an enormous train?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This would not be too comfortable, but at least I ensured that I’d spend the day more or less alone since guests, family, and groom would politely stay at least 6 feet away not to endanger polluting my wedding dress nor stepping on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breathtaking, aren’t’ they? And about as comfortable as spending the night on a bed of nails. Fifteen years (or a few more) ago, I had picked one of these without hesitating. Nowadays I’d rather let my fingernails be pulled out than being forced to get married in such a monstrosity. I’m not saying they are not beautiful. More the opposite. I’m only saying, they would look awful on me.

 

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Then I found two other extravagant wedding gowns which made me burst out into laughter. They’re hilarious. I’m trying to imagine how I’d be looking in this dress below on the left: probably like some exploded cotton candy.

And how about the one on the right? AJ costumed as the walking bird flu.

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What would I pick now to get married in? Yes… the same simple, classically elegant dress I think would best show who I am.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And should you ever see a wedding from far, where the bride is blond and wearing this dress, then it’s most likely going to be me, taking my last chance ever to wear a beautiful gown. (And promising the love of my life everlasting support, faithfulness, confidence amongst a few other things).


All pictures are courtesy of: www.pinterest.com

 

 

My Beloved Paper Agenda

Starting this post with a confession is quite hard to do, to be honest. But I decided to do it anyway:

 

I AM SCARED TO BE HOPELESSLY OLD-FASHIONED

I know you might laugh, but I’m terrified that I’m getting too old to be able to change my ways and finally give up my affinity to my paper agenda.

It is a beautiful agenda, teal colored with turquoise surroundings. It not only includes my annual agenda, but also a little paper notepad and an address book. It’s a COACH agenda and I’m very proud to have it. That thing is about 13 years old and I remember exactly where I bought it and why. And it’s about as heavy a gallon of milk.

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I love it deeply and not only use it to write down appointments but also birthdays, addresses, things to do and things not to forget…

It is however really heavy and uses up a lot of space in my purse, which forces me to leave it at home and get a light and easy annual planner to take with me, just in case I’m on the road and need to add an appointment.

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As soon as I’m back home I’ll take what I wrote in this ‘on the road’ planner and carefully copy it to my COACH agenda which I just for some reason can’t give up…

I know it would be BY FAR easier to throw them both away and take my appointments, notes, to-do list and birthdays and enter them into my smartphone.  I just really think I’m confused, weird, old or simply ‘stubborn’, because I’m not there yet.

In all these years of technological progress, where I effortlessly progressed from Telex to Telefax, from Telegram to text message, from typewriter to computer, from a rotary phone to smartphone I’m still addicted to my paper agenda and planner.

It would be so much easier, but I still haven’t done it – and I’m asking myself why? Do I need to be forced to? Am I waiting until there won’t be any re-fillers anymore for the new year? What am I waiting for?

Do I need a psychologist or rehab? What is it that I need to make this progress, to get this change done and make life easier for myself.

If you have an idea, I’m going to be delighted to hear it! Thank you!

BOAW – Blog Fest – Girl Boner Entry – PG-18

This post is part of the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VI! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page between today and 11pm PST March 11th.

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Lies, boring sex and does size really matter?

Once upon a time… It was a while ago I was in a relationship I considered to be happy. It was a long-distance, long-term relationship, and later engagement. And there it languished. If we had lived closer together, I eventually had realized much earlier, that this guy was a lazy, lying, nightmarish sociopath. But for a while I was happy. He made me happy. He made me feel like I was the only one, the prettiest, the most beautiful woman! (I found out later he told this to at least 6 or 7 other women too – at the same time – but that’s not subject of this post).

At the time he made me happy, satisfied me in bed until I finally realized two things: The man had literally no idea how a female body works, and I wasn’t sure whether he was properly educated when it comes to the ‘birds and the bees’.

Maybe this might help him: https://youtu.be/i0ZF543HQ9Y

Yes, he carefully watched my reactions, and I figure his request for me to let myself go and make noises during sex made it easier for him to see what action leads to what reaction. But other than that, he was more or less helpless.

·    He had no idea why women menstruate

·    He had no clue how to recognize when a woman fakes an orgasm

·    He was totally oblivious how many orgasms a woman can have before dying

·    He figured the more orgasms, the better satisfied

·    The thought of a woman faking an orgasm just to get him off her finally never occurred to him.

As for me: I finally realized how boring this man was. All he was (and probably still is) interested in is sleeping, eating and sex. And there we go: He was even boring in bed. Due to us being apart for long times and then meeting again, it took me a while to find out that these sexual meetings always followed a certain program. Like a time frame, or maybe a ‘user manual.’

1. Tell her you love her

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

3. Tell her you missed her

4. Repeat point 1 – 3 excessively

5. Undress her

6. shower with her (because she insists)

7. tell her some more she’s beautiful

8. give her oral satisfaction

9. extend that until she screams

10. before she sneaks off (again), finally try to get your own satisfaction (provided it stands)

That was about it. There was no variation, no ideas, no new things, nothing magic, not even much fun after a certain time.

In the end, I finally just sighed and shortened the entire happening somewhere between point 1 and 4 – and again around point 7 and 8. Earlier screaming makes the entire thing end up faster, right?

And there was something else that irritated me to no end: his pride about the size of his penis. I just frowned at him when he mentioned the 9 inches. Do I need to understand what the point is why men need to show off their size? Provided of course they have it! Because of these 9 inches were, if not a lie, at least an exorbitant exaggeration. To this day I still believe he read that one number ‘upside down.’ It would explain a lot.

At the end it came as it had to: The relationship came to an end. Do I regret what happened? In a way, I do, yes. It shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realize how boring the man was, both in and outside the bed.

It took me a while to get out of the grief – but once I got over it, I thought, okay. Next time it will be better. And I thought it did…

*****

Unexpectedly and to my great surprise a man from my past showed up out of the shadows. Over 20 years ago we had worked together on a project, but once the project had ended, we’ve never seen each other again.

That man was so handsome when he was younger! Back then he had swept me off my feet. And now he came back into my life to do just the very same thing again. I’m no kid, and I usually don’t suffer from unexpected hallucinations. He got older, just as I did. We all change a bit with age. The only difference is that I’m realistic about it – he isn’t.

His way of making love with me was to ‘jump on me,’ wild, feral… his foreplay limited to the words “Are you awake?”

Considering the years before I had the most boring sex one can only imagine, this might have been a welcome change. For just a moment. Then I woke up. My man complained I was “too aroused.” I hate to say that, but I had to really, I mean, really control myself extremely hard not to laugh out loudly. Why? Let’s say it this way: As a woman in love, you don’t tell the man of your desire that he does turn you on, but unfortunately he’s got a penis about the size of an IHOP breakfast sausage.

And no, this is not me making fun of him. I’m 5’3″ and never had a child. My gynecologist uses his instruments the size for young girls – and still, I had the feeling having sex with my boyfriend was like throwing a wiener into a garage… What does that tell us? The good thing was: I knew it wasn’t me. He is that convinced everything about him, on him and in him is totally perfect, he had to find a reason why our sexual being together wasn’t as good as he wanted it to be. And since he “is” perfect, it was my fault.

Only a while later he told me, he wanted me to lose weight. – And that was it for me. Couldn’t he find a way to accept me the way I am; even more since he told me before that he would? I informed him that it was time to say ‘goodbye.’

To my great surprise, this got to me. I was extremely depressed after this separation. I missed him horribly… But I am lucky. I have the most wonderful friends on Earth. They helped me getting over him and comforted me.

I think the final moment when I was prepared to let go, was that particular day when I went grocery shopping and heard a song that reminded me of him. In a blur, our time together raced through my memory… and I thought to myself: “Really, girl… did you want to stay together with a man who is that bad in bed?” And then I started laughing.

It is, I might add at this point, a little embarrassing to laugh out loudly and being unable to stop, in the middle of a supermarket, right between broccoli and bananas. However, I made it out alive. The only thing I regret until this day is, that I never gave him “The Kamasutra” for his birthday.

*****

These two relationships taught me three things; I better keep in mind from now on:

1. I need a man who has a goal in life that goes further than meals, sleep, and sex. I need a man who moves his ass and works for what he wants and has a certain fantasy and ideas; a man with a certain education, whose messages I can read without flinching over the misspellings and who is experienced and interested enough to find out how to satisfy a woman. A man, with whom sharing intimacy makes my skin tickle, my skull explode until I can count the stars in the sky and my toenails roll up.

2. Does size really matter? To me, it does, yes. Do I compare? Was that one better than this one? Hell no! The size of the penis isn’t half as interesting as the man that’s accompanying it. But to me, there needs to be ‘something’ to feel.

3. I am, in my very individual and unique way, beautiful. And I deserve better than what I have been accepting of a relationship for the past few years.

 

I, therefore, decided to celebrate my beauty. I am unique; I am special, I am beautiful, I am humorous, loving, caring and helpful… I am many things; and yes, in bed I’m a revelation. *wink*

I deserve to have what I want, and I deserve to be happy!

*****

Writer’s Treasure Chest – 2-year-Anniversary

What a wonderful surprise today!

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I’m quite proud of being a blogger for two years now.

In the meantime “Writer’s Treasure Chest” got:

over 680 posts

over 3’800 comments

678 followers

and

50 guests

I couldn’t have done it without so many people! My friends, readers, followers, commenters, re-bloggers, supporters, guest authors and many more.

I could not have accomplished such an awesome success without you all. You made this adventure a wonderful experience for me. You are all GREAT! Thanks for your ongoing support!