My Beloved Paper Agenda

Starting this post with a confession is quite hard to do, to be honest. But I decided to do it anyway:

 

I AM SCARED TO BE HOPELESSLY OLD-FASHIONED

I know you might laugh, but I’m terrified that I’m getting too old to be able to change my ways and finally give up my affinity to my paper agenda.

It is a beautiful agenda, teal colored with turquoise surroundings. It not only includes my annual agenda, but also a little paper notepad and an address book. It’s a COACH agenda and I’m very proud to have it. That thing is about 13 years old and I remember exactly where I bought it and why. And it’s about as heavy a gallon of milk.

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I love it deeply and not only use it to write down appointments but also birthdays, addresses, things to do and things not to forget…

It is however really heavy and uses up a lot of space in my purse, which forces me to leave it at home and get a light and easy annual planner to take with me, just in case I’m on the road and need to add an appointment.

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As soon as I’m back home I’ll take what I wrote in this ‘on the road’ planner and carefully copy it to my COACH agenda which I just for some reason can’t give up…

I know it would be BY FAR easier to throw them both away and take my appointments, notes, to-do list and birthdays and enter them into my smartphone.  I just really think I’m confused, weird, old or simply ‘stubborn’, because I’m not there yet.

In all these years of technological progress, where I effortlessly progressed from Telex to Telefax, from Telegram to text message, from typewriter to computer, from a rotary phone to smartphone I’m still addicted to my paper agenda and planner.

It would be so much easier, but I still haven’t done it – and I’m asking myself why? Do I need to be forced to? Am I waiting until there won’t be any re-fillers anymore for the new year? What am I waiting for?

Do I need a psychologist or rehab? What is it that I need to make this progress, to get this change done and make life easier for myself.

If you have an idea, I’m going to be delighted to hear it! Thank you!

BOAW – Blog Fest – Girl Boner Entry – PG-18

This post is part of the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VI! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page between today and 11pm PST March 11th.

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Lies, boring sex and does size really matter?

 

Once upon a time… It was a while ago I was in a relationship I considered to be happy. It was a long-distance, long-term relationship, and later engagement. And there it languished. If we had lived closer together, I eventually had realized much earlier, that this guy was a lazy, lying, nightmarish sociopath. But for a while I was happy. He made me happy. He made me feel like I was the only one, the prettiest, the most beautiful woman! (I found out later he told this to at least 6 or 7 other women too – at the same time – but that’s not subject of this post).

At the time he made me happy, satisfied me in bed until I finally realized two things: The man had literally no idea how a female body works, and I wasn’t sure whether he was properly educated when it comes to the ‘birds and the bees’.

Maybe this might help him: https://youtu.be/i0ZF543HQ9Y

Yes, he carefully watched my reactions, and I figure his request for me to let myself go and make noises during sex made it easier for him to see what action leads to what reaction. But other than that, he was more or less helpless.

·    He had no idea why women menstruate

·    He had no clue how to recognize when a woman fakes an orgasm

·    He was totally oblivious how many orgasms a woman can have before dying

·    He figured the more orgasms, the better satisfied

·    The thought of a woman faking an orgasm just to get him off her finally never occurred to him.

As for me: I finally realized how boring this man was. All he was (and probably still is) interested in is sleeping, eating and sex. And there we go: He was even boring in bed. Due to us being apart for long times and then meeting again, it took me a while to find out that these sexual meetings always followed a certain program. Like a time frame, or maybe a ‘user manual.’

1. Tell her you love her

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

3. Tell her you missed her

4. Repeat point 1 – 3 excessively

5. Undress her

6. shower with her (because she insists)

7. tell her some more she’s beautiful

8. give her oral satisfaction

9. extend that until she scream

10. before she sneaks off (again), finally try to get your own satisfaction (provided it stands)

That was about it. There was no variation, no ideas, no new things, nothing magic, not even much fun after a certain time.

In the end, I finally just sighed and shortened the entire happening somewhere between point 1 and 4 – and again around point 7 and 8. Earlier screaming makes the entire thing end up faster, right?

And there was something else that irritated me to no end: his pride about the size of his penis. I just frowned at him when he mentioned the 9 inches. Do I need to understand what the point is why men need to show off their size? Provided of course they have it! Because of these 9 inches were, if not a lie, at least an exorbitant exaggeration. To this day I still believe he read that one number ‘upside down.’ It would explain a lot.

At the end it came as it had to: The relationship came to an end. Do I regret what happened? In a way, I do, yes. It shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realize how boring the man was, both in and outside the bed.

It took me a while to get out of the grief – but once I got over it, I thought, okay. Next time it will be better. And I thought it did…

*****

Unexpectedly and to my great surprise a man from my past showed up out of the shadows. Over 20 years ago we had worked together on a project, but once the project had ended, we’ve never seen each other again.

That man was so handsome when he was younger! Back then he had swept me off my feet. And now he came back into my life to do just the very same thing again. I’m no kid, and I usually don’t suffer from unexpected hallucinations. He got older, just as I did. We all change a bit with age. The only difference is that I’m realistic about it – he isn’t.

His way of making love with me was to ‘jump on me,’ wild, feral… his foreplay limited to the words “Are you awake?”

Considering the years before I had the most boring sex one can only imagine, this might have been a welcome change. For just a moment. Then I woke up. My man complained I was “too aroused.” I hate to say that, but I had to really, I mean, really control myself extremely hard not to laugh out loudly. Why? Let’s say it this way: As a woman in love, you don’t tell the man of your desire that he does turn you on, but unfortunately he’s got a penis about the size of an IHOP breakfast sausage.

And no, this is not me making fun of him. I’m 5’3″ and never had a child. My gynecologist uses his instruments the size for young girls – and still, I had the feeling having sex with my boyfriend was like throwing a wiener into a garage… What does that tell us? The good thing was: I knew it wasn’t me. He is that convinced everything about him, on him and in him is totally perfect, he had to find a reason why our sexual being together wasn’t as good as he wanted it to be. And since he “is” perfect, it was my fault.

Only a while later he told me, he wanted me to lose weight. – And that was it for me. Couldn’t he find a way to accept me the way I am; even more since he told me before that he would? I informed him that it was time to say ‘goodbye.’

To my great surprise, this got to me. I was extremely depressed after this separation. I missed him horribly… But I am lucky. I have the most wonderful friends on Earth. They helped me getting over him and comforted me.

I think the final moment when I was prepared to let go, was that particular day when I went grocery shopping and heard a song that reminded me of him. In a blur, our time together raced through my memory… and I thought to myself: “Really, girl… did you want to stay together with a man who is that bad in bed?” And then I started laughing.

It is, I might add at this point, a little embarrassing to laugh out loudly and being unable to stop, in the middle of a supermarket, right between broccoli and bananas. However, I made it out alive. The only thing I regret until this day is, that I never gave him “The Kamasutra” for his birthday.

*****

These two relationships taught me three things; I better keep in mind from now on:

1. I need a man who has a goal in life that goes further than meals, sleep, and sex. I need a man who moves his ass and works for what he wants and has a certain fantasy and ideas; a man with a certain education, whose messages I can read without flinching over the misspellings and who is experienced and interested enough to find out how to satisfy a woman. A man, with whom sharing intimacy makes my skin tickle, my skull explode until I can count the stars in the sky and my toenails roll up.

2. Does size really matter? To me, it does, yes. Do I compare? Was that one better than this one? Hell no! The size of the penis isn’t half as interesting as the man that’s accompanying it. But to me, there needs to be ‘something’ to feel.

3. I am, in my very individual and unique way, beautiful. And I deserve better than what I have been accepting of a relationship for the past few years.

 

I, therefore, decided to celebrate my beauty. I am unique; I am special, I am beautiful, I am humorous, loving, caring and helpful… I am many things; and yes, in bed I’m a revelation. *wink*

I deserve to have what I want, and I deserve to be happy!

*****

Writer’s Treasure Chest – 2-year-Anniversary

What a wonderful surprise today!

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I’m quite proud of being a blogger for two years now.

In the meantime “Writer’s Treasure Chest” got:

over 680 posts

over 3’800 comments

678 followers

and

50 guests

I couldn’t have done it without so many people! My friends, readers, followers, commenters, re-bloggers, supporters, guest authors and many more.

I could not have accomplished such an awesome success without you all. You made this adventure a wonderful experience for me. You are all GREAT! Thanks for your ongoing support!

 

August McLaughlin’s BOAW Blogfest is only one week away

For years already, the founder of Girl Boner, writer and radio host August McLaughlin has organized her famous BOAW (Beauty of a woman) Blogfest. This year it will start in one week from now!

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There are more and more participants in two categories: The ‘original’ version and the ‘Girl Boner’ version.

The more the merrier, as she reminded us participants just lately. Please register on the registration page:

http://www.augustmclaughlin.com/boaw2017reg/

 

You still got time to register. August is amazing. Her deadline for registration is March 1, 2017, but she as well accepts registrations that come in with a slight delay!

There are prizes to win – please register and be part of the fun!

 


 

Adventure In The Woods

Yesterday I surprisingly saw a rainbow and raced to find the end of it. I’m doing this now for many years, and I’m really good at it. I’m fast, in particular. But still, not fast enough. As usually I missed the pot of gold by a nanosecond and stood there, lost.

My sense of orientation only guarantees that I’m not getting lost on my way from the kitchen to the bathroom and that’s why I needed to find ‘something’ to climb on to get at least a halfway decent cell phone reception to call help.

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I was told to walk to the west. After I had safe ground under my feet, I did exactly as I was told – until I realized that either we needed to turn the entire forest about 45 degrees to the left, or the moss on the trees grows on the wrong side.

I was indeed very careful… stumbling across the woods is quite dangerous, in particular when you’re alone, lost and could meet some REALLY lethal creatures, like spiders, ants or the one or other rainworm. I was as well extremely cautious since I didn’t want to end up in some witch oven accidently and made sure I wouldn’t run into a candy house. You never know, right?

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My efforts took me to another challenge… the wild river I had to cross. I was nearly helpless. I mean, how should I ever be able to do this? I’m a weak woman. *sigh*

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At the end finally, I found out of the woods and ended where I started. (At my car, to be precise) With a smile on my face.

I’m sure you might have guessed: I have neither seen witch houses, nor spiders, ants or worms. I wasn’t climbing, and the water I saw was an extraordinarily cute puddle; the only thing running wild was my fantasy, but all in all it was just a beautiful 90 minutes walk through the forest. When did you take the time to do this last time?

Have a wonderful Sunday.

 


 

The Aesthetic of a Full Figured Woman

E. R. Smith from “bronxbeyondborders.com’ published a fantastic blog post I can’t resist re-blogging. It is an article about the ‘Aesthetic of a Full Figured Woman’; a subject that I hold dear and near. I think she did an amazing job with this post. Please, check it out.

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By: E. R. Smith

Reflecting on aesthetics, I couldn’t get Alessia Cara’s song out of my head.  Really, I am still humming it as I write.  She sings “Scars to You’re Beautiful”.  She tells the tale of a girl, like me, that you don’t see in magazines.  A girl craving the adoration reserved only for the beautiful, or so she assumes.  Alessia’s observation is that, “She don’t understand she’s worth it.”  

I decided to take a look at full figured aesthetics in the arts; and how artists reflect on what is striking, sensual, lovely.  Artist Peter Paul Rubens offers vast examples of women considered full figured at the time; but like the plus sized models of today they rarely measure past size 14. Yet, still there is no Twiggy here.  Venus at the Mirror (1615) and Ermit and Sleeping Angelica (1628) are two of…

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Happy New Year 2017

To all of you who followed this blog through this year and its entire existence. Thank you so much!

I wish you and your family:

May the New Year transform your:
Your tears into joy
Your plans into action
Your dreams into reality
Your savings into assets
Your love into togetherness
And your milestones into destinations!
A very Happy New Year