The Synopsis: Why Love Hurts & Pain Can Be Good for Our Writing – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb provides us with an excellent blog post about ‘The Synopsis’. There is still a lot I have to learn and I’m grateful for Kristen’s advice. Thank you!


There is one word known to strike fear into the hearts of most writers. Synopsis. Most of us would rather perform brain surgery from space using a lemon zester and a squirrel than be forced to boil down our entire novel into one page.

Yes one.

But alas we need to embrace the synopsis for numerous reasons. First and foremost, if we want to land an agent, it works in our favor to already have an AWESOME synopsis handy because the odds are, at some point, the agent will request one.

Sigh. I know. Sorry.

A Quick Aside

When it comes to synopses, I lean toward the, ‘Better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission’ camp. Which is where already having a seriously spiffy synopsis helps.

Think of it this way. E-mail sucks. Getting lots of emails and having to juggle it all sucks. Agents get a lot of emails.

Since I am also a person who gets a ridiculous amount of email, I can tell you with conviction that I LOVE people who save me work. They do this by saving me steps.

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Don’t Advertise, PADvertise: Catch Readers With Their Pants Down – Written By Kristen Lamb

With her usual humor and direct way to say things by their proper name, my favorite blogger and teacher posted an article about ‘PADvertising’. Thanks a lot for that one, Kristen Lamb!


Seems writers are always looking for some new way to advertise their books, which is fine…but some folks have gone more than a little bit cray-cray. I finally fled Twitter, by and large, because it’s next to impossible to locate real hoo-mans among all the automation. My email has pretty much gone feral as well, but meh.

Today, let’s have some fun at the bots’ expense, shall we?

Okay, any of you who regularly follow my blog know that I am totally out of my mind a bit eccentric. I’m reposting this blog because a) I’ve been flattened with bronchial pneumonia b) I have to travel and c) this post never stops being funny…especially if you’re like me and have the same sense of humor as a fourteen-year-old boy.

This post was inspired when I was speaking in Idaho. I’d excused myself to the ladies’ room and, as I closed the door to the stall, I noticed all the advertising on the back of the bathroom door. This cluttered wall of ads made me think about all the authors spamming non-stop about their books on social media and via email.

Writers were becoming worse than an MLM rep crossed with a Jehovah’s Witness. Could the author book promotion get any more invasive?

Wait…

Maybe it could.

CONTINUE READING HERE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Sales or Lackluster Sales: It Isn’t the Reader, It’s the Book…Really – Written By Kristen Lamb

I discovered a new, brutally honest, but still in her unique style humorously written blog post by Kristen Lamb where she tells us about lacking sales of our books. Thank you very much for your advice, Kristen!


No sales or lackluster sales. It isn’t the reader’s fault. It’s the book. Really. This is tough to hear. I know.

It’s a writer’s worst nightmare. You researched, you wrote, you finished, and then published your book. You wait for the sales and….

*crickets*

This is something that can happen to any kind of author, traditionally or nontraditionally published.

We think we have a hit on our hands only to later be checking our work for a pulse. What happened? Why did everything go sideways? Where are the SALES?

 

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Five Holiday Challenges Only Writers Will Understand – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb, one of my very favorite bloggers whose wisdom and helpful educational blog I appreciate very much, published an amazing post about writers and the Holidays. Thanks so much, Kristen!


It’s the holiday season, and this is a tough time for most people. For, writers, it’s peace hell on Earth, largely—though not entirely—due to the whole ‘having to wear pants’ thing.

We authors, historically, have been a misunderstood group of people.

Burned as witches. No holiday there. Survival rate after a political coup? Close to zero. Odds of being shot? Pretty much hundred percent, which correlates closely with odds of keeping mouth shut #FunFact.

Friends and loved ones still invite us to holiday gatherings. Sadly, no ‘burned at stake’ or ‘firing squad’ option. Those require pants, but less talking and no prerequisite to bring some dumb@$$ ‘White Elephant’ gift and a nut-free appetizer.

*makes note to hunt down and murder person who invented ‘White Elephant’ game’*

*Why is the elephant white and not pink?*

*makes note to google that later*

*makes note to put that in novel and kill it*

*along with the person who invented it*

Where was I? Oh yes, holiday stuff. Writers. Why writers should be able to qualify for service animals every year. Holiday honey badgers that bite.

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Unplugged Book Sales: Is It Possible to Sell Books Off-Line? – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb provides us with a great blog post about selling books offline. Thank you very much for this very helpful post, Kristen!


Unplugged and Internet-free. Sounds like heaven to me. Why am I posting on this? Well, someone in the last post commented and asked me to blog on how to sell books without the Internet or social media. If it was even possible.

#ChallengeAccepted

Is it even possible to sell books unplugged? Good food for thought. Of course, my first thought was, ‘Is it even possible to get unplugged in the first place?’

Funny to think that it wasn’t too long ago that a half-baked plot with a terrible love story captured our hearts. A horrible movie (by all accounts) made us all misty-eyed, because of these three words…

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The Evil Has Landed: Villains Could Be Much Like You…or Even Me – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb provides us with a great blog post about villains and how evil they can be. Thanks so much, Kristen. You know we all enjoy your posts!


Evil has been one of the most fascinating topics among humans since we created the ability to have heated conversations. Humans would gather to argue over roasted mammoth after the hunt was over.

Was Urg’s son, Perry, simply hard to handle or evil? If he was evil, then why? Had the gods cursed him somehow? Too many blows to the head?

Maybe the parents were to blame.

Granted, Perry’s mother, Yell, was better with a battle club than her husband. Urg preferred chewing mammoth skins and decorating hides.

Yell was awesome at killing stuff and the whole tribe was on a list for Urg to renovate their caves, but all this aside?

Young Perry was simply terrifying.

To be fair, Perry’s insatiable urge to kill small animals kept them all with plenty of snacks. He also loved to set these things called ‘fires’ and those had seriously come in handy, but still.

No one trusted him near the small children and babies, mostly because they tended to go missing.

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Do Some People Lack the Talent to be a Successful Author? – Written By Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb published a very interesting, fascinating and relentlessly honest blog post about a lack of talent and authors. Thanks so much for sharing your point of view with us, Kristen!


Talent is so utterly subjective. How can we know if we actually have it? Recently, I was chatting with my cousin who’s an incredible artist.

She mentioned how, no matter how many compliments or how many sales, she can’t help but feel like an imposter.

I, of course, responded that authors suffer the same malaise. Imposter syndrome is alive and well, and it doesn’t matter how many books we write, the titles we earn or how many books we sell. For a lot of us? We still can’t help but feel like a fraud.

That we don’t actually have any talent. Oh, and that any moment someone might find out we’ve fooled the world and have no talent at all.

All of this posits the eternal question…

Are there just some people who simply lack the talent to be a successful author?

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