Imagine there’s wonderful love in your life,
All of a sudden it turns into strife.
Future, perspective, all of it gone
And you’ve got no idea what you have done.
*
You start learning, what you had was but lies
and love, hope and memories, it all dies.
Life seems a blur and you’re walking through hell
And all there’s left is an empty shell.
*
This was the man who asked you for your hand
he wanted to marry you he said; a future on sand…
You fly across the world, wearing bubble pink specs
while all he ever wanted was sex.
*
To the same time, and that really makes you sick
he tells you again, if he could, you were the one he would pick!
The man is a liar, a sociopath of worst sort
And here you realize what he did was just tort!
*
Confidence, trust and beauty are void
All emotions in you are badly destroyed.
All he’s ever done was lie and screw
Shadows creep out of the darkness in you.
*
Anger and rage concentrate in your heart
tearing all emotions inside you apart.
You feel used, humiliated, hurt to be told of
him spreading word it was a “one-sided” love.
*
An emotion of darkness and terrible black,
crawls up in you, spreads out on skin and back.
You try to identify it, simply and clear
it’s neither pain, nor anger, nor is it fear.
*
It’s darker, it’s blacker, it’s shadow land.
You can’t control it, it gets out of hand.
Then you identify it, almost too late
what you’re feeling now is purest hate.
*
Ask yourself now, will I permit
that hatred will take over my whit?
That no matter what he’s done wrong…
is he really worth an emotion this strong?
*
Won’t it be better to keep my heart clear
of an emotion this poisonous and queer?
Probably yes, is the answer I trench
And still my inside wants revenge!
*
Thank God – I’m a writer… is all I can think
in my book I can make his testicles shrink,
I can shoot, drown and hang him, I know it’s quite tough!
My pen will avenge me – that will be enough.
*****
(March 4, 2016, Copyright Aurora Jean Alexander)
Now that is a raw expression.
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Yes, I agree… but it’s a raw situation too, Liz.
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You need to start letting him go. The only one you are ‘hurting’ with all this is you and he sure the hell isn’t worth it. The longer you drag this on the more it will start to look like you enjoy playing the victim. I know that isn’t the case but those who don’t know you will wonder.
Love as always,
Val
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Thank you very much for your warmhearted and caring comment, Val. I’m working on it, I really do! Promise. It’s getting better… But sometimes when things get in motion everything is going to be washed up again… Still… at one point I’ll be turning my back…
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Writing it out, write it out, write it out. But remember indifference is stronger than hate and a better revenge. Use your experience and write. It is the best therapy. xoxo
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Thank you very much for this advice, Juliette. I’m working on that. It’s like kind of a diary. But I’m getting dark – really dark fantasies… I doubt it’s that a good idea. But I keep going back to my novella and work there. And that’s much better, I guess.
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I too have hurt and then gone through the emotions. Now I think back to those three men and can’t remember that much about them. I was married to one and cannot tell you whether or not he was even a “good kisser”. Heal, my dear friend. He may not have had a scratch after leaving a gapping slash in you.
You are a great writer. Thank him for the experience and move on. I know that I’m not alone in loving you and your pen.
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Thank you so much for your support and for sharing your experience. I hope one day I too can think back and hardly remember if he could kiss. I’m working on healing. But things aren’t exactly over yet. I hope it won’t take that long anymore that I really will be able to turn my back on this. But thanking him for the experience? Probably not… *sigh*
Thanks for your wonderful compliment on my writing, Marsha. You’re great!! ❤
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Sending smiles and love.
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“…in my book I can make his testicles shrink,” LOL
You have such a huge, beautiful heart, Aurora — and seem to find humor even in the darkest of times. 🙂 I’m so sorry you’ve been going through heartache. Cheering for you perpetually. ❤
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Thank you so much, August. You’re an amazing friend. I’m trying to keep my humor, as often and as badly as I’m hurt, it has almost helped me.
Thanks for being there for me!! ❤ Lots of love.
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❤️❤️❤️
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There are always going to be things that you find out later that you do not expect. There will always be differences of opinion, words that hurt. What you have to do is go with your gut feelings. Make a pro and con list before you enter in the relationship, and make one each time there is trouble. When the cons are more than the pros, Kill him.:o)
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Hmmm… these pro and con-lists sound interesting… And when I read your last sentence I howled with laughter. Thanks for that one, Patricia. You’re great! LOL
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At 72 it has more to do with experience, and, laughter helps. :o)
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It helped me. I laughed. 😀 Thanks so much.
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Good job Aurora! Get it out of your system and grow. Huge HUGS! Loved this one.
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Thanks so much for your great compliment on this one, Allan. You know how high I value your opinion. I’m very happy to hear you loved it!! I’m still working on the growing. If I’d grow as fast as I work hard, I’d be about 8’10” in July. LOL
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Lovely poem. 🙂
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Thank you. 😉
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Great poem, Aurora. “He” deserved it!!!!
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*grin*. Sounds, .like you know him. 😀 Thanks very much for dropping by and leaving your comment! 🙂
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I hate to admit it, but I remember more than one….:(
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I’m sorry to hear that. Thanks for dropping in. It’s greatly appreciated!
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TY. A long, long time ago. Makes us all a bit stronger, I suppose. 🙂
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You might be right, you know… at the moment I’m still waiting for the “stronger”-part. *sigh*
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