Love And Hate

Imagine there’s wonderful love in your life,

All of a sudden it turns into strife.

Future, perspective, all of it gone

And you’ve got no idea what you have done.

*

You start learning, what you had was but lies

and love, hope and memories, it all dies.

Life seems a blur and you’re walking through hell

And all there’s left is an empty shell.

*

This was the man who asked you for your hand

he wanted to marry you he said; a future on sand…

You fly across the world, wearing bubble pink specs

while all he ever wanted was sex.

*

To the same time, and that really makes you sick

he tells you again, if he could, you were the one he would pick!

The man is a liar, a sociopath of worst sort

And here you realize what he did was just tort!

*

Confidence, trust and beauty are void

All emotions in you are badly destroyed.

All he’s ever done was lie and screw

Shadows creep out of the darkness in you.

*

Anger and rage concentrate in your heart

tearing all emotions inside you apart.

You feel used, humiliated, hurt to be told of

him spreading word it was a “one-sided” love.

*

An emotion of darkness and terrible black,

crawls up in you, spreads out on skin and back.

You try to identify it, simply and clear

it’s neither pain, nor anger, nor is it fear.

*

It’s darker, it’s blacker, it’s shadow land.

You can’t control it, it gets out of hand.

Then you identify it, almost too late

what you’re feeling now is purest hate.

*

Ask yourself now, will I permit

that hatred will take over my whit?

That no matter what he’s done wrong…

is he really worth an emotion this strong?

*

Won’t it be better to keep my heart clear

of an emotion this poisonous and queer?

Probably yes, is the answer I trench

And still my inside wants revenge!

*

Thank God – I’m a writer… is all I can think

in my book I can make his testicles shrink,

I can shoot, drown and hang him, I know it’s quite tough!

My pen will avenge me – that will be enough.

*****

(March 4, 2016, Copyright Aurora Jean Alexander)

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26 thoughts on “Love And Hate

  1. You need to start letting him go. The only one you are ‘hurting’ with all this is you and he sure the hell isn’t worth it. The longer you drag this on the more it will start to look like you enjoy playing the victim. I know that isn’t the case but those who don’t know you will wonder.
    Love as always,
    Val

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for your warmhearted and caring comment, Val. I’m working on it, I really do! Promise. It’s getting better… But sometimes when things get in motion everything is going to be washed up again… Still… at one point I’ll be turning my back…

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    • Thank you very much for this advice, Juliette. I’m working on that. It’s like kind of a diary. But I’m getting dark – really dark fantasies… I doubt it’s that a good idea. But I keep going back to my novella and work there. And that’s much better, I guess.

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  2. I too have hurt and then gone through the emotions. Now I think back to those three men and can’t remember that much about them. I was married to one and cannot tell you whether or not he was even a “good kisser”. Heal, my dear friend. He may not have had a scratch after leaving a gapping slash in you.

    You are a great writer. Thank him for the experience and move on. I know that I’m not alone in loving you and your pen.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your support and for sharing your experience. I hope one day I too can think back and hardly remember if he could kiss. I’m working on healing. But things aren’t exactly over yet. I hope it won’t take that long anymore that I really will be able to turn my back on this. But thanking him for the experience? Probably not… *sigh*

      Thanks for your wonderful compliment on my writing, Marsha. You’re great!! ❤

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  3. “…in my book I can make his testicles shrink,” LOL

    You have such a huge, beautiful heart, Aurora — and seem to find humor even in the darkest of times. 🙂 I’m so sorry you’ve been going through heartache. Cheering for you perpetually. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. There are always going to be things that you find out later that you do not expect. There will always be differences of opinion, words that hurt. What you have to do is go with your gut feelings. Make a pro and con list before you enter in the relationship, and make one each time there is trouble. When the cons are more than the pros, Kill him.:o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for your great compliment on this one, Allan. You know how high I value your opinion. I’m very happy to hear you loved it!! I’m still working on the growing. If I’d grow as fast as I work hard, I’d be about 8’10” in July. LOL

      Like

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